IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

32.The chart below shows women aged from 16 to 25 in particular country who prefer to watch or participate in a variety of sports. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

32.The chart below shows women aged from 16 to 25 in particular country who prefer to watch or participate in a variety of sports. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#women #country #variety #sports #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph illustrates
Correct article usage
the females
show examples
females
Change the noun form
female
show examples
group
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
 from 16 to 25 who took part in different sports (
tennis
,
baksetball
Correct your spelling
basketball
, athletics, badminton, golf and horse riding and racing ) in
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 in 2000
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
compred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to
women
 who liked to watch.
Overall
, the percentage of
women
 who
preferd
Correct your spelling
preferred
prefer
 to watch was the highest in
tennis
,
while
 the highest
number
 of players was in both
tennis
 and golf. The significant feature was the
number
 of
women
 who took part in horse riding and racing was double the
number
 of
females
 who watched. There was a significant increase
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
number
 of
women
 who watched
tennis
 sport and others who played ( 30 and 50 respectively).
While
 the
number
 of
females
Change the noun form
female
show examples
 players in golf was more than
other
Change the wording
another group
other groups
show examples
group
 (30 to only 10 respectively).
Similarly
, the figure of
women
 who participated in horse riding was higher than the second
group
 ( around 20 and below 10 respectively).
On the other hand
,
females
 took part in basketball and athletics at around 20, which was greater than the
number
 of people who watched was around 10. The
number
 of ladies who
involved
Add a missing verb
were involved
show examples
 in badminton was higher than
other
Change the wording
another group
other groups
show examples
group
 ( above 10 and under 5 respectively)
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words females, group, tennis, women, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • popularity
  • preference
  • trend
  • compare
  • contrast
  • notable differences
  • cultural factors
  • social influences
  • predict
  • data
  • evident
  • sporting activities
  • age group
  • demographic
  • engage in sports
  • viewership
  • spectators
  • gender-specific trends
  • analyze
  • summarize
  • percentage
  • notable
  • significant
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