Detailed describtion of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be banned in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that nowadays social media share details of crimes.
While
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it is a commonly held
believe
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belief
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tha
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that
sharing details
describe
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describing
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what happened in crimes on
the
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apply
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TV or in
newspaper
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a newspaper
the newspaper
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can have harmful outcomes for communities, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that
this
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kind of
news
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must be barred by
news
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organizations.
To begin
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with, these kinds of
news
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have a direct impact on children, especially on their health, both mental and physical.
In other words
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, they will
influence
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be influenced
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negatively in
the
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apply
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daily
task
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tasks
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,
such
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as going out to school or playing in public facilities like gardens,
also
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, supermarkets, feeling scared and insecure will be exhausting for them.
In addition
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, kids naturally think of
experience
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experiencing
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every feeling and action to know what will happen.
For example
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,
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according to
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in
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a study made in Japan in 2022, says that when
informations
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information
pieces of information
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of
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about
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murder crimes, explored on TV or YouTube, 70% of viewers were under 13 years
, which
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old, which
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may
makes
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make
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them experience the same details
on
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as
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their young siblings or pets. Another point to consider, the government should increase
the
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apply
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awareness among
people
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by doing lessons or visiting
school
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schools
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to observe the actions of the students. It is
also
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possible to say that
people
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should treat each other kindly and help
who
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those who
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needs
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need
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to
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apply
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help, to limit
from
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apply
show examples
wrong
behaviors
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behaviours
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.
Moreover
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, authorities must cooperate with society to report
about
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apply
show examples
anyone who
publish
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publishes
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these information
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this information
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to the public.
For instance
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, if the government would reward prices to
who
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those who
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reports
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report
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, that
will
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would
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make the
people
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more aware of these bad actions. In conclusion, despite
people
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having different views, I believe that
this
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sensitive information must be banned from the
news
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ahadaloufi3a on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and flow logically to the next. Focus on having one main idea per paragraph to increase the coherence of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction sets the stage for the rest of your essay, and that your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively. Both should be more fully developed.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas more clearly and comprehensively to fully address all parts of the task prompt.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic, which is good for your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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