IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

􏰃􏰍􏰎 􏰏􏰐􏰑􏰒􏰍 􏰓􏰍􏰔􏰕􏰓 􏰖􏰗􏰘􏰎􏰐􏰏􏰐􏰔􏰙􏰗􏰘 􏰈􏰚􏰑􏰚􏰛􏰔􏰗 􏰒􏰑􏰓􏰓􏰎􏰗􏰏􏰎􏰐 􏰗􏰙􏰜􏰝􏰎􏰐􏰓 􏰛􏰗 􏰞􏰔􏰗􏰘􏰔􏰗􏰟 􏰈􏰙􏰜􏰜􏰑􏰐􏰛􏰓􏰎 􏰚􏰍􏰎 􏰛􏰗􏰠􏰔􏰐􏰜􏰑􏰚􏰛􏰔􏰗 􏰝􏰡 􏰓􏰎􏰢􏰎􏰣􏰚􏰛􏰗􏰏 􏰑􏰗􏰘 􏰐􏰎􏰒􏰔􏰐􏰚􏰛􏰗􏰏 􏰚􏰍􏰎 􏰜􏰑􏰛􏰗 􏰠􏰎􏰑􏰚􏰙􏰐􏰎􏰓􏰤 􏰑􏰗􏰘 􏰜􏰑􏰥􏰎 􏰣􏰔􏰜􏰒􏰑􏰐􏰛􏰓􏰔􏰗􏰓 􏰕􏰍􏰎􏰐􏰎 􏰐􏰎􏰢􏰎􏰦􏰑􏰗􏰚􏰟

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The line chart provides key information about Underground Station passenger numbers in London. The units are measured in hours.
Overall
, it is clear from the graph the rash hour reaches roughly
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8.00 and that contains 400
passengers
 on the train.
In addition
, at 7.00 we noticed, enormous numbers of
people
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
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Station
Correct article usage
the Station
show examples
,
whereas
 at 6:AM, it is
a
Change the article
the
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 smallest portion of
people
 who
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the station around 100
of
Change preposition
apply
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passengers
.
According to
 what is shown,
obviously
Add a comma
obviously,
show examples
 at the
begging
Correct your spelling
beginning
show examples
 of
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 is have enormous
e
Fix the agreement mistake
number of
show examples
people
 who going
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 or universities. We see in a chart after at 8:00, gradually decreasing their
passengers
 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is not peak time. At 14:00 we observe the numbers soaring around 300
passengers
, which is make sense
due to
, plenty of
people
 finishing their work duration. In terms of At 18 PM, they soared by 370
passengers
 ,
subsequently
 dropping until reaching 140
at the end
 of day.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a general overview of the data, but the details in the body paragraphs need to be clearer and more precise. Try to organize the data in a more logical sequence.
coherence cohesion
Some of the language and phrasing used can be unclear. Work on refining sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You have included relevant data points from the graph, but you could enhance your analysis by explaining the reasons behind the trends. Why do numbers increase or decrease at certain times?
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task by summarizing the main trends of the data.
task achievement
Your essay includes specific details from the graph, which helps to support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
What to do next:
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