Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit

Some would argue that

it’s

better for

boys

and

girls

study

in different

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

while

others claim that more

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for children to get an education in

mixed

Add an article

a mixed

show examples

school

. I believe that

it’s

good for

girls

and

boys

to be in mixed

school

it’s

Unnecessary verb

show examples

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to be more social,

although

in separate schools

it’s

Unnecessary verb

show examples

may make them

Verb problem

apply

show examples

focus

Replace the word

focused

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

studies

. On the one hand,

let

Wrong verb form

letting

show examples

girls

and

boys

study

in mixed

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

would be

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

for them as it makes them more social, and have more relationships that will help them in the future.

Wrong verb form

Being

show examples

in mixed schools

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to deal

polity

Change preposition

with polity

show examples

with

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

gender

Fix the agreement mistake

genders

show examples

, as

it’s

important

Correct article usage

an important

show examples

skills

Fix the agreement mistake

skill

show examples

to learn

since

Change preposition

from

show examples

childhool

Correct your spelling

childhood

For example

boys

who

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

in mixed

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

show more respect to

Add an article

the girl

a girl

show examples

girl

Fix the agreement mistake

girls

show examples

and deal polity with them,

for

this

reason, I firmly support

to let

Change the verb form

letting

show examples

girls

and

boys

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

get

education

Correct article usage

an education

show examples

in mixed

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

to help them to have good social

skills

On the other hand

, when children attend separate schools, it will make

the

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

focus

on their

studies

, as there’s no opposite sex to deal with. They will spend more time on

study

than spend time on relationships.

For instance

, I

finish

Wrong verb form

finished

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

school

separate

Add an article

a separate

show examples

school

, and I

was

Change the verb form

was focused

was focusing

show examples

focus

on my

studies

and

try

Wrong verb form

tried

show examples

to have a high

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

in my

exam

Fix the agreement mistake

exams

show examples

However

it’s

good for

girls

and

boys

focus

Change preposition

show examples

their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

but

Correct word choice

and

show examples

also

let them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

improve their social

skills

. In conclusion,

although

to let

Change the verb form

letting

show examples

girls

and

boys

study

in separate

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

will make them

focus

Change preposition

show examples

their

studies

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it will be more

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

for

girls

and

boys

study

in mixed

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

, to improve their social

skills

Submitted by daliaakram35 on Tue Sep 10 2024

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task achievement

In the argument for mixed schools, adding more specific examples or studies which show benefits of mixed schooling can strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Consider addressing counterarguments more thoroughly in each paragraph to showcase a deeper understanding of both perspectives.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammatical errors to ensure clarity. For instance, 'it’s may make them be more focus in their studies,' could be corrected to 'it might help them to focus more on their studies.'

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. The transition from discussing mixed schools to separate schools can be made more seamless.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition of ideas. You mentioned improving social skills in both the introduction and body, instead, focus on expanding different aspects of the argument.

task achievement

The essay discusses both viewpoints with a clear stand on the preferred opinion, demonstrating a balanced approach.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a frame for the essay, reflecting the necessary structure for coherence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

co-education
gender segregation
peer pressure
academic performance
gender stereotypes
discrimination
social skills
teamwork
collaboration
diversity

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Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that the content of what children watch on television primarily influences their behavior, while others believe that it is the amount of time children spend watching television that has a greater impact on their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

Some people think that online reading materials are better for children. Others argues that traditional paper based resources are better. Discuss and give your opinion.

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?