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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newsport city centre from 2003-2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparations where relevant

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newsport city centre from 2003-2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparations where relevant
The given line graph shows the
incidents
Use synonyms
 of
buglary
Correct your spelling
burglary
,
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 and
robbery
Use synonyms
 in three
distinc
Correct your spelling
distinct
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
 in
Newsport
Correct your spelling
Newport
 city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 from 2003 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 and
robbery
Use synonyms
 have
relatively
Add an article
a relatively
show examples
 stable
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 among the others throughout the year studied,
while
Linking Words
buglary
Correct your spelling
burglary
 activities
on the other hand
Linking Words
, somehow saw a dramatical
down trend
Correct your spelling
downtrend
show examples
. In terms of the biggest incident in the early period, it is apparent that
bulgary
Change the capitalization
Bulgary
show examples
hold
Wrong verb form
held
show examples
 the biggest
number
Use synonyms
 at just
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
 3500
incidents
Use synonyms
 before reaching its peak at
mere
Correct article usage
a mere
show examples
 3750 activities,
then
Linking Words
 fell dramatically to its lowest of approximately 750 reports, and
finally
Linking Words
 experienced a plateau at just bellow 1500 until the final year period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 and
robbery
Use synonyms
 remained stable from
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 initial figures 2750 and 600 respectively in the first period
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and experienced a slight fluctuation before reaching their final
number
Use synonyms
 at below 2500 for
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the
robbery
Use synonyms
incidents
Use synonyms
stick
Wrong verb form
stuck
show examples
 to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
origin
Replace the word
original
show examples
number
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the final year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words incidents, car, theft, robbery, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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