Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in theirexams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Achieving the highest

score

Use synonyms

exams

Use synonyms

is not easy, as

students

Use synonyms

need to spare their time to study and do exercises.

Therefore

Linking Words

, some people argue that these

students

Use synonyms

should be rewarded.

However

Linking Words

, other people do not agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion and say that the

students

Use synonyms

who

perform

Verb problem

make

show examples

good progress should be given

rewards

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. Personally, I agree with the first opinion that

rewards

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should be obtained by the

one

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who

achieve

Change the verb form

achieves

show examples

the highest

score

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. To achieve the highest

score

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, the

students

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must sacrifice their playing time to study. It can be reading books, doing exercises or taking courses. By reading books, the knowledge from them can be absorbed, making the

exams

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seem easier. The same thing applies when doing exercises and taking courses, it

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

students

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used to solving problems from

exams

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Therefore

Linking Words

, the

one

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who can become the best among

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

enthusiast

Replace the word

enthusiastic

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

should get

Change the article

show examples

reward.

This

Linking Words

can make

students

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compete for the presents and boost their spirits.

For example

Linking Words

, they

aware

Add a missing verb

are aware

show examples

that their friends are better than them, so they will work harder in order to exceed each other.

Thus

Linking Words

, providing awards for the best

one

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has a positive impact. Having good progress is

also

Linking Words

a good achievement, meaning it is hard to obtain. It is not like

get

Change the form of the verb

getting

show examples

the highest

score

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in the

exams

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, but more like it has a high increase in the exam

score

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compared to the previous

score

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. To make

this

Linking Words

happens

Correct subject-verb agreement

happen

show examples

, the

students

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should work

hardly

Change the word

hard

show examples

and reduce their playing time.

For instance

Linking Words

, they must try to find their previous mistake,

Linking Words

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

study

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. By doing

this

Linking Words

regularly, it

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

sense if they have an increase in their

score

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, they deserve to get

rewards

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. In conclusion, both having the best

score

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exams

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or having good progress compared to the previous

one

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deserve to get

rewards

Use synonyms

, as it is hard to

be achieved

Wrong verb form

achieve

show examples

, except by working hard.

ivannizarTue Sep 10 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a response to the task by discussing both views and stating your opinion, which is good. However, ensure that the reasons and examples provided for each opinion are more comprehensive and specific.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, which is essential to help structure the essay. Try to make the introduction more engaging and the conclusion more summarizing.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure and the ideas flow quite well from one to the next. Nevertheless, improve the transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs for better cohesion.

task achievement

Ensure that each point is well-explained with clear and precise examples. Avoid repetition and work on expanding your ideas further.

task achievement

The essay successfully discusses both views, achieving balance and demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Good logical flow and structure in the essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and conclusion, creating a proper essay framework.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic excellence
incentive
motivation
competitive spirit
growth mindset
innate ability
effort
improvement
inclusive
recognition
achievement
progress
struggle
balance
inclusive learning environment

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