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Band 3

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
There is a suggestion
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reducing the working days in the week and
also
 making the weekend longer, so
workers
 can benefit from it. I believe
that is
 a good step in the right direction and I agree with it, so in
this
 essay, I will explain my viewpoint.
Workers
 and machines can
work
 and do tasks;
however
,
workers
 are humans
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they have feelings and need to
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rest after
work
. It was proven that the productivity
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
workers
 increases when they have to
work
 less time in their jobs.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means that when
workers
 have two off days
instead
 of one,
for example
, they will feel that they can produce more
work
 and do tasks efficiently in their employment. If the employment stakeholders of public and private sectors decide to
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
 a step to force companies and organizations to make the working days shorter, I think
this
 will reflect positively on the quality of the
workers
’ jobs and increase their productivity,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which employers will see the results clearly. In conclusion, from my point of view, I agree that the working week should be shorter, and
also
,
workers
 should have a longer weekend, so they can do their
work
 better and improve their productivity which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 good results.
Submitted by jawdat.lubadeh123 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus and logically flows from one idea to the next. For example, avoid abrupt transitions and ensure that each sentence leads smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Be specific about why a shorter working week would be beneficial. Use data or examples to support your points, such as mentioning studies or specific benefits to workers.
task achievement
Include more relevant specific examples to substantiate your claims. For instance, you could mention case studies or countries that have experimented with shorter working weeks and observed positive outcomes.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state the writer's viewpoint, which provides a nice framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task, including explaining the benefits of a shorter working week and a longer weekend.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but there is room for better development and evidence. The essay does touch on important aspects such as productivity and workers' well-being.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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