Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Urbanization, where
people
from rural Use synonyms
areas
move to Use synonyms
cities
, is a common global trend today. Use synonyms
While
Linking Words
this
shift offers better opportunities for individuals, I believe it has negative consequences for both Linking Words
cities
and rural regions.
Use synonyms
First,
mass relocation to Linking Words
cities
leads to overcrowding, which puts a strain on urban infrastructure and services. Waiting times at health facilities increase and schools struggle to cope with large numbers of students. These problems reduce the Use synonyms
overall
quality of life in Linking Words
cities
. Use synonyms
For example
, I can name my city, before the war the number of Linking Words
people
was amazing, but when we went to the countryside, whole villages and streets were dying out because there was no one to look after the house, everyone moved to the city.
Use synonyms
Second,
rural Linking Words
areas
are experiencing economic decline Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
migration
of young and working Correct article usage
the migration
people
. When fewer Use synonyms
people
are able to farm the land and agricultural productivity is falling, and rural economies are stagnating. Use synonyms
This
decline makes rural Linking Words
areas
less attractive, creating a cycle of poverty and underdevelopment.
Use synonyms
Finally
, Linking Words
while
urbanization offers individual opportunities, it can lead to urban overcrowding and the decline of rural economies. So we should develop a more balanced strategy. Linking Words
Because in
the world there are many examples of crested Correct word choice
In
cities
, especially in China. In Shanghai, Use synonyms
for example
, over the Linking Words
last
decade, Linking Words
people
moved from rural Use synonyms
areas
to rural Use synonyms
areas
, which led to Use synonyms
a
huge economic growth, but Remove the article
apply
also
to the problems mentioned above. Linking Words
In addition
, the influx of Linking Words
people
has led to higher housing prices, which means that many cannot afford decent living conditions. Use synonyms
Also
, Linking Words
such
overloaded Linking Words
cities
produce huge amounts of emissions into the air that contribute to global warming.Use synonyms
Submitted by oleksandrrazancev64 on
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Task Achievement
The introduction should be clearer and more directly relate to the topic by stating your stance explicitly. It currently starts with some generalized statements. A clearer thesis statement will better guide the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point. This will improve overall coherence and cohesion. The essay could benefit from a more structured approach with clear topic sentences.
Task Achievement
While examples are provided, they need to be more detailed and directly tied to the main argument of each paragraph. This will strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion should provide a summary of the main points discussed and reiterate the thesis. It currently introduces new points instead of summarizing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Linking phrases and transition words should be used more effectively to ensure a smooth flow between paragraphs and ideas. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the impact of urbanization, covering multiple aspects and providing real-world examples.
Task Achievement
Usage of relevant examples adds value to the arguments made in your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.