IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that children should not be given homework everyday, while others believe that they must get homework everyday in order to be successful at school. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #homework #school
Homework is a subject for discussion among people. One group
state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
show examples
this
 is
mandatory
Add an article
a mandatory
show examples
 part of
student`s
Correct article usage
a student`s
show examples
 education to gain success
while
 others claim
such
 overload
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 drain the
pupil
Change noun form
pupil's
show examples
 performance. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 let some evidence about
this
 discussion and give my opinion of those arguments.
To begin
 with, Homework is frequently considered as a support of school`s
lessos
Correct your spelling
lessons
lesson
. So students can refresh
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 memory
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
 they absorbed in
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
day
Change noun form
day's
show examples
 lesson.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 some subjects like geometry and physics need
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 in order to manage with variety of data and make
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 to solve tasks with
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 indicators.
Moreover
,
this
 training
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
 critical thinking and students will obtain
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 to operate massive
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of information in our modern world. Some youth will continue to study in
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 and colleges and
Correct pronoun usage
their school`s
show examples
school`s
Change noun form
school
show examples
 background will play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role
to succeed
Change preposition
in succeeding
show examples
 in exams
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
conducted in those institutions.
On the other hand
, Intense learning
consume
Change the verb form
consumes
show examples
 all student`s time.
This
 may affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their creativity.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 people who tend to be an actress,
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 or painters. They all need time to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of inspiration and motivation to create something unique.
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, as history shows to us the famous and
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 artwork was created once in a lifetime for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
genius people. So if the lifestyle of
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 strictly organised it will have
negative
Add an article
the negative
show examples
 consequence of
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
crativity
Correct your spelling
creativity
 and
art thinking
Add a hyphen
art-thinking
show examples
 individuals in
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 future. To sum it up,
My
Change preposition
in My
show examples
 opinion flexible way to approach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students is much more productive rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
side strict organisation of their lifestyle. Some genius and
talanted
Correct your spelling
talented
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 can be suppressed by
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 system.
Submitted by andrew.885 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Try to avoid spelling and grammar mistakes. Double-check your work for errors such as "student's" instead of "student`s," and "lessons" instead of "lessos."
lexical resource
Enhance your vocabulary by using more varied and precise words. For instance, you could use "burdensome" instead of "drain the pupil performance."
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. This will help to make your essay more coherent.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. For example, mention specific studies or expert opinions on the impact of homework on student performance.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the argument and provide a balanced discussion on both sides of the issue.
coherence
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, aligning well with the arguments presented.
cohesion
You attempt to use linking phrases such as "To begin with" and "On the other hand," which helps in organizing the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: