Many people depend on their smartphones and other electronic devices for communication, work, and entertainment. To what extent do you think that this reliance on technology is affecting interpersonal relationships and face-to-face communication?

Nowadays, there
increasung
Correct your spelling
increasing
number of
peole
Correct your spelling
people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been replying on technology devices. I
belive
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believe
show examples
that there are some negative impacts on existing
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
communication.
To begin
with, Using
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
exceeds
Verb problem
apply
show examples
causes relationships
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
less close. The majority of young parents spend most of their free time on social media, playing
game
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games
show examples
online
in stead
Correct your spelling
instead
show examples
of playing with their children.
As a result
. the relationship between parents and children has a big gap. Parents
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not there for
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
when they need help with homework,
problems
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or problems
show examples
they had at school but could not
addressed
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address
show examples
by themself or
teachers
Correct pronoun usage
their teachers
show examples
. In the long run, the kids do not have
aa
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a
show examples
sense of family. That might
affects
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affect
show examples
their growth in
value
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the value
show examples
of family.
Moreover
,
people
are likely to
commmunicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
with friends,
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and relative
show examples
relative
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relatives
show examples
online rather than in
person
. That might affect their communication skills when they meet
people
face to face. it is different
chatting
Change preposition
from chatting
show examples
online
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
does not require confidence,
however
, meeting in
person
,
need
Verb problem
requires
show examples
people
show
Add the particle
to show
show examples
off their confidence. If a
person
often
interect
Correct your spelling
interacts
with
people
online,
then
when they come out, they find
shy
Correct pronoun usage
it shy
show examples
,
difficult
Correct word choice
and difficult
show examples
to continue conversation with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. in conclusion,
people
tend to depend on
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
or
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
lead to distance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
existinbg
Correct your spelling
existing
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
their confidence. Everyone should balance spending on mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and living life.
Submitted by tranghathu16hd on

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grammar
Work on grammar and spelling to improve readability. For instance, 'there increasung number of peole has been replying...' should be 'the increasing number of people has been relying...'.
examples
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. For example, discuss specific social media platforms or describe specific scenarios where technology affects personal relationships.
coherence
Enhance the logical flow of your essay. Use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
position
The essay clearly states a position on the topic in the introduction, asserting that technology negatively impacts interpersonal relationships and face-to-face communication.
main points
The writer provides clear main points about how technology affects relationships and communication skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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