In this technological personal information of all kinds is held on computer by different companies and organization in many countries. Do the advantages of this development out weigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the technological world, it is common for government and private institutions to store
data
including personal
data
in
computers
instead
of having it on physical files.
This
practice has benefits and drawbacks.
This
essay will argue that the advantages of
this
outweigh its disadvantages. Saving personal
data
in storage devices helps to keep the
data
for a longer period of time.
This
is possible as the
data
in the computer will not fade over a period of time, unlike the ink on paper.
Also
, natural disasters
such
as flooding and forest fires cannot take away the
data
.
Further
, retrieving and analyzing
data
stored in
computers
is way easier compared with
data
stored on paper.
Data
stored in
computers
are analyzed and used to make decisions in businesses in a very short period of time.
However
, there are disadvantages associated with
this
as well. Personal
information
stored in
computers
is prone to cybercrime. Cybercriminals hack personal
information
and use it for illegal activities
such
as smuggling and stealing money from bank accounts. The other disadvantage is it heavily depends on technology.
Therefore
, internet failure or power cuts can make the
data
storing process difficult.
For example
, recently, an internet failure at Microsoft paralyzed airport systems around the world
due to
inaccessible
information
. In conclusion, though factors including cybercrime and uncertainty of the technology are threats to storing personal
information
in
computers
, strong safety measures can be applied
while
storing the
data
in
computers
.
Therefore
, I would argue that the pros of storing
data
on
computers
outweigh its cons.
Submitted by gowsht on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work more on the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next.
task achievement
For a complete task response, include more examples and evidence to back up each point you make. This will support your arguments better and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas by including more specific information and elaborations. This will showcase a deeper understanding and enhance the sophistication of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps in understanding the argument.
supported main points
Main points are relevant to the topic and generally well-supported.
complete response
The essay effectively presents both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced approach to the argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: