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Band 7.5

Some people say that modern innovation brings about more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #innovation
In
this
 information age, the development of modern innovation has been continuing progressively when the usage of
technology
 is on the rise. Even the
students
 and kids are enjoying the advantages that
technology
 has been bringing, among many places. It is disagreed that modern innovation presents more cons to modern lives.
According to
 the convenience that
technology
 has brought to individuals, the learning process of
students
 will be improved with the assistance of
technology
. One of the most fundamental things is that the work of searching for resources can be conducted online.
For example
, when a teacher is teaching, she suddenly finds that there is a word for which she cannot ensure the meaning.
Besides
 flipping through the dictionary for a long time, she can choose to use a laptop to search it on Google.
Furthermore
, quality information and multiple options of different meanings are clearly displayed on the website. It is easy to choose what people need and need.
Therefore
, the efficiency of searching will increase.
Secondly
, the help of
technology
 makes young adults more confident when they experience difficult tasks.
For instance
, ChatGPT plays a subsidiary role when youths face difficult work.
Moreover
,
students
 gain more choices
instead
 of asking questions in the school. The time within which one experiences a problem and solves a problem is probably decreased
due to
 the powerful capacity of
technology
.
Hence
, when they face a toughie again,
students
 can find the solution immediately,
as well as
 their levels of confidence will enhance gradually. In conclusion,
technology
 changes the ways of teaching and upgrades a way
that is
 favourable to people.
Thus
,
it is clear that
 the idea that modern innovation provides harm is totally unsupported. After a thorough analysis of
this
 subject, it is predicted that
technology
 will bring people more unbelievable achievements in the future, and because of
this
,
technology
 does bring fringe benefits to the world.
Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on

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task achievement
Try to ensure that all of your ideas are fully developed. Some points feel somewhat incomplete, and expanding on them would add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on the clarity and fluency of your sentences. While most of your points are clear, some sentences could be more concise and easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your main points well.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that support your main arguments effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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