IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #percentage #greenhouse #gas #emissions
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Energy
 plays a huge role in life. We can
use
energy
 to cook, water heating, lighting and even more.
Energy
 has brought a lot of
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 life.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 it brings some disadvantages too, for the environment. In
this
 essay, it will be discussing about the
percentage
 of household
energy
use
 in Australia
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the
greenhouse
gas
 produced by it. The highest
percentage
 of
energy
use
 in
specific
Correct word choice
particular
show examples
 is for water heating. It has the value of 23%.
For the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 second
place
Add a comma
place,
show examples
 there is for heating and cooling with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
percentage
 of 20% since Australia has an extreme weather condition. Lighting and refrigeration have close
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 11% and 12% in order. The
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 usage of
energy
 is for stand by and cooking, with 5%
percentange
Correct your spelling
percentage
. The disadvantage caused by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
use
 is
greenhouse
gas
. Heating and cooling caused a huge problem with 38%
greenhouse
Change preposition
of greenhouse
show examples
gas
 produced.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the second place, water heating produced 25% of
greenhouse
gas
. Other
usage
Change the wording
usages
show examples
 of
energy
 like cooking, standby,lighting and
referigeration
Correct your spelling
refrigeration
 have a low
percentage
, which is below 10%. So it is very important for us to
use
energy
 wisely.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, use, percentage, greenhouse, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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