The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
Energy
plays a huge role in life. We can use
energy
to cook, water heating, lighting and even more. Energy
has brought a lot of advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
for
life. Change preposition
to
However
it brings some disadvantages too, for the environment. In Add a comma
However,
this
essay, it will be discussing about the percentage
of household energy
use
in Australia,
and the Remove the comma
apply
greenhouse
gas
produced by it.
The highest percentage
of energy
use
in specific
is for water heating. It has the value of 23%. Correct word choice
particular
For the
second Change preposition
The
place
there is for heating and cooling with Add a comma
place,
the
Correct article usage
a
percentage
of 20% since Australia has an extreme weather condition. Lighting and refrigeration have close percentage
which Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
is
11% and 12% in order. The Correct subject-verb agreement
are
least
usage of Correct your spelling
last
energy
is for stand by and cooking, with 5% percentange
.
The disadvantage caused by Correct your spelling
percentage
the
Correct article usage
apply
energy
use
is greenhouse
gas
. Heating and cooling caused a huge problem with 38% greenhouse
Change preposition
of greenhouse
gas
produced. On
the second place, water heating produced 25% of Change preposition
In
greenhouse
gas
. Other usage
of Change the wording
usages
energy
like cooking, standby,lighting and referigeration
have a low Correct your spelling
refrigeration
percentage
, which is below 10%.
So it is very important for us to use
energy
wisely.Submitted by riani.the2 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, use, percentage, greenhouse, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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