he charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

he charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
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The given charts indicate data on the place and categories of
classes
Use synonyms
young people in the city of Australia are attending
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now.
Overall
Linking Words
, the pie
chart
Use synonyms
illustrates the type of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
;
additionally
Linking Words
, the bar
chart
Use synonyms
shows how many people attend each
class
Use synonyms
. The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie
chart
Use synonyms
claims that the
majority
Use synonyms
of
classes
Use synonyms
are located in private studios
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
48
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place are community halls and others at a rate of 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
subsequently
Linking Words
in the lowest rate, college-based
students
Use synonyms
at 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The bar
chart
Use synonyms
recognizes the
majority
Use synonyms
of
groups
Use synonyms
under 11 attending ballet
classes
Use synonyms
—nearly 600 persons;
on the contrary
Linking Words
, the
majority
Use synonyms
of
groups
Use synonyms
aged 11–16 attend modern
dance
Use synonyms
calls at number over 500. The loes attending
classes
Use synonyms
in
groups
Use synonyms
under 11 are what modern calls 300
students
Use synonyms
. In the opposite group, age 11–16, the least attended
dance
Use synonyms
class
Use synonyms
is ballet
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
nearly 300
students
Use synonyms
. Tap
dance
Use synonyms
class
Use synonyms
is
second,
Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
The group under 11 attended approximately 450
students
Use synonyms
, ages 11-16, and 400
students
Use synonyms
at
this
Linking Words
typo
class
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the pie charts show the location of
Use synonyms
dance
Correct article usage
the dance
show examples
class
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
It seems that the
majority
Use synonyms
attend private studios, and bar char recognizes ballet
dance
Use synonyms
is more popular in
groups
Use synonyms
ages 0–11;
on the contrary
Linking Words
, 11–16 age
groups
Use synonyms
attend modern
classes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mkhdermani on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, on the contrary".
Vocabulary: Replace the words classes, chart, dance, class, majority, students, groups with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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