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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph shows
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
show examples
 areas population percentage in four Southeast Asian countries between 1970 to 2020, with projections until 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, all states, except the
Phillipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
, face an increase throughout the given period. Malaysia started the period at 30% in 1970 and
continue
Correct subject-verb agreement
continues
show examples
 to
climbed
Change the verb
climb
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 up at just above 70% in 2020 and is projected to reach well above 80% in 2040.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 Indonesia started with only approximately 13% in the recorded period, the number
keep
Verb problem
apply
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increased significantly and surpassed Thailand and the
Phillipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
 in 2010 after
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 over 40% and is set to increase continually.
In contrast
Linking Words
, began at around 30%,
after
Correct word choice
and after
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 steady
grow
Replace the word
growth
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 until 1990, the number plummeted to around 40% in 2010.
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, it is already recovered and
projected
Add a missing verb
is projected
show examples
 to hit above 50% in 2040.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, after Thailand had a rise to below 30% in 1990, the percentage faced
moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
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 rise between 1990 and 2020 at around 30%
although
Linking Words
 is expected to rise significantly to under 50% in 2040.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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