The most important aim fshould be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #fshould #people #lives

With the advancement of technologies, some suggest that improving the well-being of humankind should be the first priority for

science

Replace the word

scientific

show examples

innovation

. I strongly agree with

this

notion. In

this

essay, the reasons behind my support and possible examples will be described in detail.

To begin

with,

while

scientific

innovation

and advancement can change our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

in many positive ways, it can have a serious negative impact on human

life

For example

, Albert Einstein, the greatest scientist, who had inspired many people, was once involved in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

deadly weapons, which were used in the

world war

Correct your spelling

World War

show examples

, killing a million of

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Many scientific methods and processes created

such

negative effects on environments and humans, by using environmental resources

such

woods

Fix the agreement mistake

wood

show examples

from

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

and coal from destroyed mountains.

Additionally

, its waste products pollute air and water, which significantly affects animals and individuals.

For instance

, accidents in nuclear power plants like

Chernobyl

Correct the spelling

Chornobyl

show examples

severely pollute nearby areas with hazardous radiation.

However

, scientific

innovation

can improve our well-being and plays an important role in daily

life

, providing convenience and safety for everyone.

For example

, a self-driving car from

microchips

Fix the agreement mistake

microchip

show examples

innovation

, resulting in the decline of accidental events, many medical technologies including robotic surgery, advanced medications and many medical tools can save an abundance of human lives. In conclusion, with the appropriate aim of human well-being for scientific growth, it can provide the greatest benefits for humankind and improve our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

such

as advanced medication, less

complication

Replace the word

complicated

show examples

surgery,

more safety

Correct word choice

safer

show examples

driving, and

lessen

Wrong verb form

lessening

show examples

any serious drawbacks.

Therefore

, the government should be responsible for scientific advancement, ensuring citizens

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a better

life

in the future.

Submitted by sippakorn.wet on Wed Sep 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue. However, while the examples provided are relevant, they can be expanded upon. Including a few more specific and varied examples will strengthen your argument even further.

coherence cohesion

While your main points are well-organized, using transition words and phrases more consistently will improve the flow of your essay. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your line of thought.

coherence cohesion

There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in some parts of the essay. Proofreading your work and paying attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage will polish your writing.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which bookends your essay well.

task achievement

Your essay contains logical arguments and relevant examples, like the reference to Einstein and Chernobyl, which strongly support your point of view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The most important aim fshould be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.