IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays there are more and more competition for getting into the university. Is it a positive or a negative development?

#competition #university #development
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In recent years,
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 for entering university are increasing day by day.
Although
Linking Words
 it will
provide
Verb problem
encourage
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students
Use synonyms
 to try harder, it can damage them psychologically.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
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 there are positive sides to
have
Wrong verb form
having
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competition
Use synonyms
.
Competition
Use synonyms
 for universities will increase
quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of
study
Add an article
the study
a study
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. The reason is, among
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
Change preposition
of
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candidates
Use synonyms
, only
well knowledgeable
Add a hyphen
well-knowledgeable
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 ones will sort out. As
candidates
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 are many as harder the exam will be. It will provide the opportunity to sort out smart
students
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.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 will visit extra courses. It will help them to be more educated than their peers.
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 every year in prestigious universities which has lots of
candidates
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 for one sit, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 special courses for
students
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 which will help them to enter university.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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competition
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 can be wrong. Because both studying and thinking about entering
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
 will take away lots of energy from
students
Use synonyms
. They might
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
balance
Correct article usage
the balance
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 between life and study
via
Change preposition
by
show examples
 thinking about
Use synonyms
competition
Add an article
the competition
show examples
 before entering.
According to
Linking Words
 some
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 year by year the percentage of people who suffer from depression
due to
Linking Words
 exams for entering university among many
candidates
Use synonyms
 is increasing.
Therefore
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
 among
students
Use synonyms
 will affect badly for those who
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 enter. In conclusion, I believe
that is
Linking Words
 not appropriate to have competitions to get into universities. Despite it
will provide
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 only knowledgeable
candidates
Use synonyms
, it can destroy someone's nervous system.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'challanges' instead of 'challenges'
coherence
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-supported with examples and explanations
examples
Provide more specific, detailed examples to support your ideas, rather than general statements
task achievement
You have addressed both the positive and negative sides of the debate, which shows a balanced approach to the topic
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion clearly reflects your opinion on the matter, effectively summarizing your arguments

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic achievements
  • foster
  • culture of excellence
  • merit-based system
  • dedicated
  • educational institutions
  • quality education
  • future workforce
  • stress and pressure
  • fierce competition
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • burnout
  • tertiary education
  • less privileged backgrounds
  • exacerbate
  • social inequality
  • drives innovation
  • programs and facilities
  • overemphasis
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • ethical judgment
What to do next:
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