IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Globalization has revolutionized our lives and the world. It plays a significant role in the integration of
people
, tradition, culture, business, nation and its development.
However
, some
people
 reckon it
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 an impediment to the growth of a nation. In my perspective, I agree with the former statement and shall discuss my viewpoint in a
further
 essay.
To begin
 with, the rise of
globalisation
 has made a prolonged impact on the development of nations
as well as
 on the lives of the common man. Expansion of food, medicine, infrastructure, import and export, education, culture and tradition is because of
globalisation
 and the core reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it is technology.
Moreover
,
globalisation
 increased job opportunities which directly leads to a high standard of living.
Also
, it refers to connecting the world more closely,
for instance
,
people
 moving abroad for higher studies and job opportunities, import and export of goods, investment and exchange of data and ideas.
However
, there are some downsides too.
People
 with lower skills lost their jobs and well-being.
Due to
 the rise in competition and technology, a not-so-tech-savvy person is getting affected and
such
 consequences are sometimes harsh and often prolonged.
Furthermore
, it is cultural homogenization. Dominant cultures from other countries often rule over the local cultures.
This
 concerns the loss of unique local identities, languages and traditions and forms a uniform global nation.
People
 might forget their roots and adapt to global culture.
To conclude
, though there are some negative sides
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
overall
globalisation
 is playing
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
 aspect in connecting the world.
People
 should understand and update them with the emerging trends
instead
 of pulling down the loopholes.
Submitted by simranjit2598 on

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relevant specific examples
Ensure that your main points are thoroughly supported with specific examples. For instance, you mentioned job opportunities but could have provided a concrete example or statistic to enhance your point.
logical structure
While your introduction and conclusion are effective, make sure each paragraph flows logically to the next, enhancing coherence and cohesion. Use transitional phrases to guide your reader through your essay smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion. This makes it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
complete response
You provided a complete response to the task by addressing both the positive and negative aspects of globalization.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clearly articulated, making your arguments easy to understand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural homogenization
  • multinational corporations
  • sustainable development
  • economic disparities
  • technological advancement
  • cultural exchange
  • scrutinize
  • ethics
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • protectionism
  • outsourcing
  • free market
  • trade liberalization
What to do next:
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