Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and atttenion to studying for qualification.

In the present day, many
students
are keen to learn more than
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subjects
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
provide,
while
some believe that it is essential for
students
to focus solely on studying for a qualification. In
this
essay, these two points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, There are several benefits that main
subjects
in
university
can offer.
Career
opportunities are the main key, as most companies always use a qualification degree from
university
.
For example
, achieving a high grade from
university
in the main subject could be a guarantee for a
higher paying
Add a hyphen
higher-paying
show examples
career
. Attention only
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the main
subjects
helps learners to stay in focus, resulting in better scores and understanding
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
context deeply without attraction from other interests.
Additionally
, the main
subjects
could be more helpful for
further
study in a doctoral degree in the future, because it is a simple standard that society requires and put them in curriculum.
On the other hand
, giving all
students
time in the main
subjects
had some negative effects. by reducing time for exploring
self desire
Add a hyphen
self-desire
show examples
in a
career
.
For instance
, some individuals experience a struggle in choosing an occupation even if they have a high degree qualification, causing a false
career
pathway that some feel dissatisfied with in the future. Learning outside main
subjects
provides survival
skills
in society that
university
could not,
such
as culinary
skills
, repairing machines and vehicles, especially communication
skills
, which is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
useful essential skill in every moment of working life.
Moreover
,
students
tend to enjoy lessons that they choose by themself, decreasing stress in the learning process. In summary, Focusing on the main
subjects
in
university
offers many advantages including easier getting high scores in class without attraction,
career
opportunities and the basis for
further
education.
In contrast
, many
students
gain advantages from learning outside
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
or more than main
subjects
such
as acknowledgement of
self desire
Add a hyphen
self-desire
show examples
occupation and communication
skills
. I firmly agree that the benefits of studying outside main
subjects
far outweigh solely
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on the main
subjects
.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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relevant specific examples
Ensure that examples provided are detailed enough to strongly support your arguments. For instance, explaining how extracurricular skills such as communication specifically impact career success could add depth to your essay.
balanced discussion
When discussing opposing views, balancing the amount of detail and examples for each side will strengthen your essay. You can make your argument even more compelling by equaling the depth of analysis for both perspectives.
introduction structure
The introduction clearly sets up the debate and gives an overview of what the essay will cover, providing a good starting point for the reader.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay provides a thorough exploration of both perspectives, demonstrating a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic.
conclusion summary
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and firmly presents your standpoint on the issue, which adds coherence to the overall structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden perspective
  • Well-rounded individuals
  • Critical thinking skills
  • Enhance employability
  • Broad skill set
  • Adaptability
  • Comprehensive understanding
  • Specialized areas
  • Balanced learning
  • Reduced stress
  • Better mental health
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