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Band 6.5

The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make conversion where relevant

The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make conversion where relevant
#show #household #expenditures #country #summarise #information #features #conversion
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of average expenditures in six different
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
 namely housing, food, health care, education , transportation and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 in a country during the period between 1950 and 2010.
overall
, it is clearly evident that housing was the major
expenses
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expense
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 in 1950 ,
whereas
 healthcare contributed
Correct article usage
a
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much lower amount. Food consumed dramatically increased over the period. In 1950, housing was the major concern of people, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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covered approximately
three-quartred
Correct your spelling
three quarters
 (for 72.1%),
whereas
 the
less
Correct word choice
lowest
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 contribution was health care. Contrastly,
layout
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the layout
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 of housing fell dramatically in 2010, registered for only 22%, the health care
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 increased from 2.4% in 1950 to 14% in 2010.
Similarly
, food and other expenses
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
in
Change preposition
at
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 a
substancially
Correct your spelling
substantial
 level in 2010. Expenses for education
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained in the same relatively ,
6.6
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from 6.6
show examples
% in 1950 to 6.3% in 2010. In 2010, transportation accounted for 14% , which was 10.7% higher compared
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1950.
Submitted by jivenica1998 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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