Due to rise in university fees arts subjects like history and philosophy should not be taught anymore. Only degree courses should be taught for better employment opportunities. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, fees for campuses
increase
considerably. It makes many Wrong verb form
have increased
people
argue that subjects such
as history
should not be taught anymore and universities only need to focus on essential courses which give better employment chances. Personally, I disagree with this
idea because I believe that every subject has essential lessons to
humans.
- melestarikan budaya, identity of a nation, kalo ga ada, ga ada pembeda satu sama lain
Change preposition
for
Firstly
, history
provides valuable information regarding with
many types of conditions in the past and by learning these, Change preposition
apply
people
can avoid something wrong that already happened in the previous eras. For instance
, many historical books illustrate about
how a Change preposition
apply
wealth
country became poorer, and by learning the reason behind that, Replace the word
wealthy
government
and citizens have a chance to discourage themselves from the causes which Correct article usage
the government
people
in the past did. If students are not taught about that, the same situation might happend
again and again in the future.
Correct your spelling
happen
happened
Secondly
, history
and philosophy consist of the culture of a nation. In historical classes, teachers or lecturers will explain the history
of their country, how their elder people
combated againts
wars or simply the ways Correct your spelling
against
of
Change preposition
apply
people
life
in the past. These are part of national identity which should be remembered. Replace the word
lived
Therefore
, every history
has their
unique story which will become additional value in the future. Correct pronoun usage
its
For example
, in Indonesia, there is Malin Kundang which a
local story which is always told by local Add a missing verb
is a
people
. This
story becomes an iconic
of a region in Indonesia and becomes their identity.
In conclusion, I argue with that idea because I believe that every subject has their essential knowledge which can give us vital Replace the word
icon
lesson
to continue our life in the future. Majors Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
such
as history
provide valuable information regarding with
how to build a better life by avoiding any wrongness that Change preposition
apply
have
happened in the past, Change the verb form
has
therefore
, these kinds of subjects contain our culture that has to be not forgotten.Submitted by hikmanurdin04 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Add more transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Ensure examples are explained in more detail to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which frame your argument well.
task achievement
Your essay directly addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.