In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city.Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
In foreign
nation
individuals Fix the agreement mistake
nations
that
benefit Correct pronoun usage
who
with
higher education,Change preposition
from
are remaining
alongside their parents Wrong verb form
remain
while
they learn,however
in other Add a comma
however,
states
undergraduates Add a comma
states,
are attending
an educational institute in another location.I believe that students who choose to abandon their home town,Wrong verb form
attend
unfortunetly
have to suffer some consequences,Correct your spelling
unfortunately
such
as living expences
accompanied Correct your spelling
expenses
with
financial troubles and strained relationships with their Change preposition
by
closed
ones.
Replace the word
close
Firsly
,living away from all your Correct your spelling
Firstly
realtives
offers a chance for the individual to express themselves,to find out their passions and interest without being influenced by other decisions that may have Correct your spelling
relatives
occured
in the past,Correct your spelling
occurred
aditionally
many young adults have been Correct your spelling
additionally
forbiden
by their Correct your spelling
forbidden
guardiens
to Correct your spelling
guardians
purchese
some Correct your spelling
purchase
desireable
items,without their presence they now have the Correct your spelling
desirable
possabilty
to do how they desire.Correct your spelling
possibility
However
, along the way
they will encounter financial instabilities.Add a comma
way,
For instance
,a student is eager in buying
some technologies that are compulsory in learning efficiently for their educational system,but with the burden of taxes and rent on their shoulder, in order to Change preposition
to buy
excell
in Correct your spelling
excel
the
academics they need to save money for a living.
Correct article usage
apply
Scondly
, with the implementation of the smartphone,it is really Correct your spelling
Secondly
convinient
to communicate with your family or friends and to exchange Correct your spelling
convenient
messeges
,despite the large distance gap between them.Correct your spelling
messages
However
with the Add a comma
However,
enourmous
amount of lectures and homework that they are given,the youth may Correct your spelling
enormous
limitate
time talking with their loved ones,straining their relationship.Correct your spelling
limit
Moreover
the individual may experience some mental problems, as being Add a comma
Moreover,
isoleted
from talking Correct your spelling
isolated
along with
the gigantic amount of information that they are required to assimilate they
may Correct pronoun usage
apply
effect
them emotionally
Correct your spelling
affect
to conclude
,livin
Correct your spelling
livin'
Submitted by acaitaz on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
You have provided a solid introduction and body paragraphs that engage with the topic, but you need to ensure that your conclusion is fully developed. A concise summary of your arguments and a final statement would improve your conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, you should work on developing clearer, more coherent connections between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases more effectively would help your essay flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Your main points are generally supported, but be sure to provide more specific examples and detailed explanations where necessary. This will help illustrate your arguments more clearly.
task response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.
task response
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic and engages with it critically, which is important for achieving a higher score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.