Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believed that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There have been ongoing debates about whether the
government
should increase the number of
police
officers in urban areas to reduce
crime
rates
,
while
others argue that
this
approach is ineffective. I personally agree with the latter argument, and the reasons why I disagree with the former opinion will be elaborated on in
this
essay.
To begin
with, it is reasonable for some to believe that the
government
should address rising
crime
rates
by allocating budgets to train and deploy more
police
officers to secure citizens across all parts of the city.
For example
, in the U.S., a lack of law enforcement has led to San Francisco becoming one of the cities with the highest
crime
rates
in the country.
Therefore
, it is understandable why some citizens may feel that more
police
officers would result in greater security.
However
, I believe
this
approach is ineffective in the long run.
Firstly
,
instead
of investing heavily in policing, the
government
should allocate more resources to
education
and support for underprivileged communities. The main cause of rising
crime
rates
is often poverty, with individuals lacking access to basic needs
such
as electricity, adequate meals, and suitable housing, which drives them to engage in criminal activities.
Secondly
, improving
education
can equip citizens with the skills needed to secure employment.
For instance
, in countries like China, the
government
has promoted
education
to both enhance the economy and reduce
crime
rates
. In conclusion,
while
increasing the
police
presence in urban areas may offer a temporary solution in some countries, investing in
education
and social welfare will lead to a more effective and sustainable approach to reducing
crime
in the long term.
Submitted by phumrapee33 on

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task achievement
While your essay presents clear arguments, it would be beneficial to include a wider variety of examples to support your points. Diversifying examples can help make your argument more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every paragraph flows smoothly to the next. While your essay is generally cohesive, there are a few areas where transitions could be smoother. Consider using linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is strong and provides a clear indication of your stance on the issue.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments.

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