Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
-There is no doubt that your feeling of being a part of the whole makes you feel safe, many people think that working at an unpaid
shop
as a volunteer or providing any other service to your community
is something you have to do. I agree with this
, because it will be useful in two stages private and public.
Firstly
, I will discuss the private stage, to clarify how charitable work benefits you first before those who donate, working in a charity shop
gives you the feeling of giving, whether you donate clothes, heat, or sort them, I felt this
feeling when I worked in a charity shop
selling clothes for cancer’s patients, you couldn’t imagine how proud I was even I had to stand up more than 8 hours but I was full of ambition, not only charity shop
which gives you that feeling but also
there are different places to give hands to others like the food bank, and it helps the real poor family to survive, I think asking for food is the only honest thing if you could suspect that some of those who claim poverty are
lying. and collecting money to assist the householder with the difficulties of life, all those services help your Change the verb form
is
community
and give you the feeling that you belong to something big, therefore
you will feel safe, In addition
, these will reduce the violence and guarantee society free crimes.
Secondly
, Reduce the load on the government, there are a variety of tasks the government already provides to people in
different sides education, health, institutions, and external security, so, we shouldn’t load the government more, and not afford Change preposition
on
the
it with tasks we can do them, and that of course increases our loyalty feeling, Remove the article
apply
not to mention
that our children will be raised to love their country .
At
the end, I would like to focus that working with Change the preposition
In
community
services is something we miss in our society, and we need, to activate the feeling of patriotism, and fix our relationship with our community
.Submitted by Mido on
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task achievement
Work on creating a stronger and more concise thesis statement in the introduction to clearly outline your position and main points.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with the use of linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Strengthen the support for your main points with more concrete examples and evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph relate to that main idea.
task achievement
The essay covers both private and public benefits of compulsory community service effectively.
task achievement
Personal experience example adds a personal touch and makes the argument more relatable.
coherence and cohesion
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument and reinforces the opinion stated.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.