IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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International
reports
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 become popular among news companies, making them invest
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money
on
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in
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
However
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, some people argue that the local
reports
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 should be more highlighted, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be more relevant to daily lives. In my opinion, I agree with the first opinion that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international news must be spread, as it can be a new learning source and it can
also
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 increase
the
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apply
show examples
social awareness
between
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among
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 international people. In my country which is
Indonesia
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, events from other
countries
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 are
also
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 reported. Local
residents
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 seem interested
about
Change preposition
in
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 it, especially the events from developed
nations
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,
such
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the
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as the
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 US and the UK. Those
reports
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 are often used by the local
residents
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 as a comparison with their
countries
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.
For instance
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, the
debate
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 of
president
Replace the word
presidential
show examples
 candidates. In the US, the candidates
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not hesitant to mock the program
of
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apply
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each other,
while
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 in my country is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
otherwise
Linking Words
. The audience of
Indonesia
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's
debate
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argue
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argues
show examples
 that the
debate
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 should
like
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be like
show examples
 the US
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is more exciting.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Indonesia
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 can learn from the US that
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debate
Correct article usage
the debate
show examples
 should
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 highlighted about the differences, and
does
Verb problem
should
show examples
 not hesitant to attack enemies's programs. By knowing what
happen
Wrong verb form
is happening
show examples
 in other
nations
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, people should
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 aware
about
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of
show examples
 the other existence. I think
this
Linking Words
 is important because they will discover how other
countries
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 live, what technologies they have, and how
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the human welfare
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 there. It will make them
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
show examples
to try
Verb problem
in
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 living in other
nations
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if the human welfare is better
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there.
For example
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, many local
residents
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 from
Indonesia
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 want to work abroad in Australia, as the salary average is better
in
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apply
show examples
there.
Thus
Linking Words
, international
reports
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 are very important, especially for
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who want to live in other
nations
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, covering international events is worthwhile, as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 can be obtained. It can be a learning source for developing
countries
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 to become developed.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it can increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social awareness
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 international
residents
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the question, presenting a clear stance and supporting it with relevant reasons. However, the ideas can be more comprehensively explained to add depth to your arguments.
task achievement
Your main points are generally supported, but providing more specific examples would strengthen your arguments significantly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is quite sound, and the ideas flow well from one to another. To enhance coherence, consider using more transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. However, the conclusion could be expanded slightly to more strongly reinforce your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and effective structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that all serve their purpose well.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the prompt, presenting a clear opinion on the topic and supporting it with reasons and examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediacy
  • relevance
  • community cohesion
  • investigative journalism
  • accountability
  • mismanagement
  • economic argument
  • globalization
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • well-rounded global perspective
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