Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
International
reports
become popular among news companies, making them invest much
money Correct quantifier usage
apply
on
Change preposition
in
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, some people argue that the local reports
should be more highlighted, as it
should be more relevant to daily lives. In my opinion, I agree with the first opinion that Correct pronoun usage
they
the
international news must be spread, as it can be a new learning source and it can Correct article usage
apply
also
increase the
social awareness Correct article usage
apply
between
international people.
In my country which is Change preposition
among
Indonesia
, events from other countries
are also
reported. Local residents
seem interested about
it, especially the events from developed Change preposition
in
nations
, such
the
US and the UK. Those Change preposition
as the
reports
are often used by the local residents
as a comparison with their countries
. For instance
, the debate
of president
candidates. In the US, the candidates Replace the word
presidential
do
not hesitant to mock the program Verb problem
are
of
each other, Change preposition
apply
while
in my country is the
Correct article usage
apply
otherwise
. The audience of Indonesia
's debate
argue
that the Change the verb form
argues
debate
should like
the US Add a missing verb
be like
that
is more exciting. Correct pronoun usage
which
Therefore
, Indonesia
can learn from the US that debate
should Correct article usage
the debate
more
highlighted about the differences, and Add a missing verb
be more
does
not hesitant to attack enemies's programs.
By knowing what Verb problem
should
happen
in other Wrong verb form
is happening
nations
, people should more
aware Add a missing verb
be more
about
the other existence. I think Change preposition
of
this
is important because they will discover how other countries
live, what technologies they have, and how is
the human welfare Unnecessary verb
apply
in
there. It will make them Correct your spelling
is
have
Verb problem
apply
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
to try
living in other Verb problem
in
nations
,
if the human welfare is better Remove the comma
apply
in
there. Change preposition
apply
For example
, many local residents
from Indonesia
want to work abroad in Australia, as the salary average is better in
there. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, international reports
are very important, especially for them
who want to live in other Correct pronoun usage
those
nations
.
In conclusion, covering international events is worthwhile, as many
Correct quantifier usage
much
informations
can be obtained. It can be a learning source for developing Correct your spelling
information
countries
to become developed. Futhermore
, it can increase Correct your spelling
Furthermore
the
social awareness Correct article usage
apply
between
international Change preposition
among
residents
.Submitted by ivannizar on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the question, presenting a clear stance and supporting it with relevant reasons. However, the ideas can be more comprehensively explained to add depth to your arguments.
task achievement
Your main points are generally supported, but providing more specific examples would strengthen your arguments significantly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is quite sound, and the ideas flow well from one to another. To enhance coherence, consider using more transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. However, the conclusion could be expanded slightly to more strongly reinforce your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and effective structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that all serve their purpose well.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the prompt, presenting a clear opinion on the topic and supporting it with reasons and examples.