Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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In modernity, the majority of people prefer to take homoeopathic medicines and home remedies to cure illness,

instead

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of seeing a family doctor. In my opinion, it is a destructive occurrence and will discuss more in the subsequent paragraphs. Starting with the consequences of taking pills and treatments without a proper prescription from a professional doctor can leave one with lifelong injury, which; eventually, can lead to death. To elaborate, having alternative medicines can cure a particular illness, but many other illnesses can be generated if not aware of the ingredients used to manufacture

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

For instance

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according to

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BBC News, the number of people dying every month has increased to 10%

due to

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the regular inhalation of cheap products. Moving forward, the professionals are facing a financial crisis

due to

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this

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trend because of declining clients, so decreasing sales. In simple words, professional doctors spend a bunch of money and time to achieve a doctoral degree; so, they are more knowledgeable than others;

however

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, the onset of

this

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trend might decrease job opportunities for them and can impact them financially.

Last

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year's survey by the WHO health organization shows a huge decline in new joinings of doctors. In a nutshell, everyday consumption of alternative medicines and treatments is a negative trend for a person and for others too including long-term illness and reduced job openings.

Submitted by kknavdeep2000 on Wed Sep 11 2024

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task achievement

Your main points are relevant and clear, but ensure you properly elaborate on them with detailed explanations and supporting examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but you need to enhance the transition between paragraphs and main points for a better logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences could be improved for better clarity and grammar. For example, the phrase 'it is a destructive occurrence and will discuss more in the subsequent paragraphs' can be improved to 'it is a destructive occurrence, which I will discuss in the subsequent paragraphs.'

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear position on the topic and sticks to it throughout, which is excellent for task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The introduction sets the stage well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your points.

task achievement

You have made a good attempt to provide supporting examples, like the survey from WHO and the report from BBC News.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Word Count

Some countries are strungling with increase in crime rates. Some berlive that having more police on the street is bestway to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new m some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environment by establishing a minority community. Discuss both views and give your opinion.