IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have decided to leave your current job even though you enjoy it. Write a letter to inform your manager of your decision. In your letter -tell the manager about your decision and the reason for it. -describe what you learned in your current job. -and ask the manager to write a reference letter to help you with future employment.

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Dear Ms. Jones, I am writing to share with you some important pieces of news. I have
finally
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 graduated from my uni and have got my bachelor's degree in the software development field. I am considering looking for a job in the IT sector, and I am going to leave the company in three to six months because I am eager to try my skills in a product development team as an ICT business analyst. Ms. Jones, thank you very much for your guidance. I have learned a bunch of demanding abilities
such
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 as holding meetings, writing complex, well-structured letters and managing my time, over the
last
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 two years.
Moreover
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, now I make coffee like a god. I would like to ask you for help with a reference letter for my future employment. If you do not mind, I will send you the first draft next week. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Rebeca Moody

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task response
Ensure that the purpose of your letter is immediately clear. While you mentioned deciding to leave, it was not the focal point of the introduction. Keep the main topic prominent.
coherence and cohesion
While your letter has a generally logical structure, consider organizing your ideas more effectively by clearly separating them into distinct paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Your closing statement could be more formal and aligned with the tone of the rest of the letter. Phrases like 'I look forward to hearing from you' are good, but the complimentary close 'Yours sincerely,' should be followed by a comma, not a period.
task achievement
Use a more formal and consistent tone throughout the letter. Phrases like 'I make coffee like a god' are informal and unsuitable for the context.
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