IELTS Writing Correction Service / Writing Samples / Band 8.5 Your friend has been offered a place on course at the university where you studied. He/She would like your advice about finding a place to live. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter - describe where you lived when you were a student at the university - recommend the best way for him/her to look for accommodation - warn him/her of mistakes students make when choosing

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Dear Rohit, I hope you're doing fantastic! It's

a great news

Remove the article

great news

a piece of great news

show examples

that you got an opportunity to study

Change preposition

show examples

the same university where I've completed my degree. I'm really glad to help you

finding

Change the form of the verb

find

show examples

place

to live. In my time,I used to live in

shared

Correct article usage

a shared

show examples

appartment

Correct your spelling

apartment

apartments

with 2 other girls because it was just

throne

Correct article usage

a throne

show examples

away from the university. Now that you are finding

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

I want you to suggest that check for a comfortable and pocket

freindly

Correct your spelling

friendly

place

Firstly

, make an account on

online

Add an article

an online

the online

show examples

app called "Find a

Place

you'll

Capitalize word

You'll

show examples

see

hundered

Correct your spelling

hundreds

hundred

of options there and try to find

place

Add an article

a place

the place

show examples

where it is easy for you to commute.

Secondly

, go for a

sharing

Replace the word

shared

show examples

room so you can save some money or make friends. I

also

want to warn you about the online

fruads

Correct your spelling

frauds

. Please don't sign any agreements before looking

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

room or don't transfer any money. There are many types of scams to steal money from new students. I

wish

Verb problem

hope

show examples

you find my suggestions helpful. With love, Mandeep

Submitted by mandeep10022 on Wed Sep 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure proper punctuation and spacing, such as including a space after commas.

coherence cohesion

Proofread your writing to correct typographical errors, such as 'appartment' (apartment) and 'throne' (throw).

coherence cohesion

Link ideas smoothly using transitional phrases to make the letter more cohesive.

task achievement

The letter addresses all parts of the task, providing information about your living situation, recommendations for finding accommodation, and a warning about common mistakes.

task achievement

The tone is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend, which aligns well with the task requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

171 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

shared apartment
off campus
convenient
moderately priced
university accommodation office
student forums
social media groups
available rooms
apartments
committing
long-term leases
location's convenience
daily commute

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