IELTS Writing Correction Service / Writing Samples / Band 8.5 Your friend has been offered a place on course at the university where you studied. He/She would like your advice about finding a place to live. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter - describe where you lived when you were a student at the university - recommend the best way for him/her to look for accommodation - warn him/her of mistakes students make when choosing

Dear Rohit, I hope you're doing fantastic! It's
a great news
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great news
a piece of great news
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that you got an opportunity to study
in
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at
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the same university where I've completed my degree. I'm really glad to help you
finding
Change the form of the verb
find
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a
place
to live. In my time,I used to live in
shared
Correct article usage
a shared
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appartment
Correct your spelling
apartment
apartments
with 2 other girls because it was just
throne
Correct article usage
a throne
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away from the university. Now that you are finding
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
I want you to suggest that check for a comfortable and pocket
freindly
Correct your spelling
friendly
place
.
Firstly
, make an account on
online
Add an article
an online
the online
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app called "Find a
Place
"
you'll
Capitalize word
You'll
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see
hundered
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hundreds
hundred
of options there and try to find
place
Add an article
a place
the place
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where it is easy for you to commute.
Secondly
, go for a
sharing
Replace the word
shared
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room so you can save some money or make friends. I
also
want to warn you about the online
fruads
Correct your spelling
frauds
. Please don't sign any agreements before looking
the
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for the
show examples
room or don't transfer any money. There are many types of scams to steal money from new students. I
wish
Verb problem
hope
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you find my suggestions helpful. With love, Mandeep
Submitted by mandeep10022 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure proper punctuation and spacing, such as including a space after commas.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your writing to correct typographical errors, such as 'appartment' (apartment) and 'throne' (throw).
coherence cohesion
Link ideas smoothly using transitional phrases to make the letter more cohesive.
task achievement
The letter addresses all parts of the task, providing information about your living situation, recommendations for finding accommodation, and a warning about common mistakes.
task achievement
The tone is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend, which aligns well with the task requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • shared apartment
  • off campus
  • convenient
  • moderately priced
  • university accommodation office
  • student forums
  • social media groups
  • available rooms
  • apartments
  • committing
  • long-term leases
  • location's convenience
  • daily commute
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