Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There has been a longstanding
debat
Correct your spelling
debate
whether the
income
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of highly paid professions like doctors should be made equal to the others lowest paid occupations. I
am partially agree
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partially agree
show examples
with
notion
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this notion
show examples
, as
this
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trend may lead to
equitable
Correct article usage
an equitable
show examples
society;
however
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, it will create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other issues.
This
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essay will shed light on my points with examples.
To begin
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with, paying the
high
Replace the word
highest
show examples
paid professional equal to the lowest paid
work
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
readuce
Correct your spelling
reduce
the gap between the low-paid jobs and
high-padi
Correct your spelling
high-paid
jobs can lead to a society where everyone is living
same
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the same
show examples
lifestyle by earning
same
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the same
show examples
amount of
money
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.
For example
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, nowadays, youngsters are seeing that
people
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with good
money
Use synonyms
are buying
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of items, which
influence
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influences
show examples
them to do whatever it takes to earn
money
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and they commit
crime
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crimes
show examples
just to enjoy a good life.
Hence
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, promoting
income
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quality can reduce crime rates.
On
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In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, for a
highly paid
Add a hyphen
highly-paid
show examples
job
Add a comma
job,
show examples
one's
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one
show examples
needs
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
level
education
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of education
show examples
, experience and skills. If
everone
Correct your spelling
everyone
getting
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
income
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for every small or big
work
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then
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there would be no space for
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
education system. To
elobrate
Correct your spelling
celebrate
elaborate
, to become a doctor needs
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of
money
Use synonyms
to pay to schools/universities
along with
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constant study.
Moreover
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,
one's
Change noun form
one
show examples
needs to clear
Correct article usage
a maximun
show examples
maximun
Correct your spelling
maximum
10
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of 10
show examples
exams
for
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in
show examples
which more than 1000
people
Use synonyms
are participating. If students know they will get the same
income
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as the average students
then
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they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
not have anything to motivate them
for
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to
show examples
study.
To conclude
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, making
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
income
Use synonyms
for every job may help to
expland
Correct your spelling
expand
explain
equality
amonug
Correct your spelling
among
people
Use synonyms
but it will lead to many serious issues where
people
Use synonyms
do not have anything to motivate themselves or to do hard
work
Use synonyms
. So, paying
according to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
should be crucial.
Submitted by mandeep10022 on

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task achievement
Try to proofread your essay to correct grammatical and spelling errors. Simple mistakes can impact the clarity of your arguments.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument in more detail. This will show your ability to consider different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports the main point you've made. For instance, you could enhance the explanation of why equal pay could lead to reduced crime rates with more detailed examples or statistics.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning between paragraphs smoothly to maintain a logical flow. Use linking phrases or words to connect ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and outlines the main points of your essay effectively, which sets a solid foundation for your arguments.
supported main points
You’ve touched upon relevant points about equality and motivation that add depth to your discussion.
logical structure
The essay provides a reasonable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easier to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • equitable
  • living standards
  • disadvantaged individuals
  • social unrest
  • crime rates
  • wage disparities
  • supply and demand
  • high-skilled workers
  • incentivize
What to do next:
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