Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been a longstanding
debat
whether the Correct your spelling
debate
income
of highly paid professions like doctors should be made equal to the others lowest paid occupations. I am partially agree
with Change the verb form
partially agree
notion
, as Correct determiner usage
this notion
this
trend may lead to equitable
society; Correct article usage
an equitable
however
, it will create the
other issues. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay will shed light on my points with examples.
To begin
with, paying the high
paid professional equal to the lowest paid Replace the word
highest
work
, it
will Correct pronoun usage
apply
readuce
the gap between the low-paid jobs and Correct your spelling
reduce
high-padi
jobs can lead to a society where everyone is living Correct your spelling
high-paid
same
lifestyle by earning Change the article
the same
same
amount of Change the article
the same
money
. For example
, nowadays, youngsters are seeing that people
with good money
are buying plethora
of items, which Add an article
a plethora
influence
them to do whatever it takes to earn Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
money
and they commit crime
just to enjoy a good life. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
Hence
, promoting income
quality can reduce crime rates.
On
Change preposition
In
the
contrast, for a Correct article usage
apply
highly paid
Add a hyphen
highly-paid
job
Add a comma
job,
one's
needs Change noun form
one
high
level Correct article usage
a high
education
, experience and skills. If Change preposition
of education
everone
Correct your spelling
everyone
getting
Wrong verb form
got
same
Correct article usage
the same
income
for every small or big work
then
there would be no space for good
education system. To Correct article usage
a good
elobrate
, to become a doctor needs Correct your spelling
celebrate
elaborate
alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
money
to pay to schools/universities along with
constant study. Moreover
, one's
needs to clear Change noun form
one
Correct article usage
a maximun
maximun
Correct your spelling
maximum
10
exams Change preposition
of 10
for
which more than 1000 Change preposition
in
people
are participating. If students know they will get the same income
as the average students then
they would
not have anything to motivate them Wrong verb form
will
for
study.
Change preposition
to
To conclude
, making same
Correct article usage
the same
income
for every job may help to expland
equality Correct your spelling
expand
explain
amonug
Correct your spelling
among
people
but it will lead to many serious issues where people
do not have anything to motivate themselves or to do hard work
. So, paying according to
work load
should be crucial.Correct your spelling
workload
Submitted by mandeep10022 on
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task achievement
Try to proofread your essay to correct grammatical and spelling errors. Simple mistakes can impact the clarity of your arguments.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument in more detail. This will show your ability to consider different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports the main point you've made. For instance, you could enhance the explanation of why equal pay could lead to reduced crime rates with more detailed examples or statistics.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning between paragraphs smoothly to maintain a logical flow. Use linking phrases or words to connect ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and outlines the main points of your essay effectively, which sets a solid foundation for your arguments.
supported main points
You’ve touched upon relevant points about equality and motivation that add depth to your discussion.
logical structure
The essay provides a reasonable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easier to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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