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Writing Samples
Band 4

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#politicians’ #lives #newspapers
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The
information
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 about
politicians
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' family members should not be distributed in newspapers.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 argument because it creates
safety
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 threats to
politicians
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' family members and influences the confidentiality of personal
life
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.
To begin
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, there are plenty of reasons that lead to threats to
life
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safety
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.
Politicians
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 who always deal with different stakeholders like the public, media, and businessmen are considered as society's high profile. They always deal with the public which
automatiacally
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automatically
 puts entire families of
such
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 persons at
life
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safety
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 threat by being a target of a terrorist group. For example, recent research concluded that in many Asian
countries
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countries,
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 terrorist attacks are based on newspaper
information
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.
Further
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, we all as human beings prefer to spend our personal
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life
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lives
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 in a confidential way as leakages of personal
information
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 will influence the reputation and freedom of a particular person. High-profile people like
politicians
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 often have sensitive
information
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 and leakages of those will cost higher than normal people's
information
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 leakage.
For example
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, a recent newspaper article about one of Sri Lankan Minister's personal
life
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 causes them to lose
his
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their
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 position and freedom.
To conclude
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, disclosing
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politicians
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politicians'
politician's
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 personal
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life
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lives
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 in written media should be avoided as it creates
life
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safety
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 threats and risks of losing reputation and freedom.
Submitted by aravindasajith on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing ideas more clearly and ensuring a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Work on enhancing clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Sometimes the essay can be vague, requiring the reader to infer too much.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly present, contributing to a well-rounded essay.
task achievement
The essay responds to the topic effectively, covering major points related to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrusion
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • sensationalism
  • privacy
  • public interest
  • collateral damage
  • precedent
  • responsible journalism
  • exploitation
  • democratic processes
  • media culture
  • balance
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