IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

*Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. *Why might this be the case? *What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#*nowadays #people #work #company #organisation #*why #be #case #*what
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In the modern era, technological advancement has made things easier. Because of
this
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, there are
a
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apply
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several job
opporutunities
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opportunities
 available in
the
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apply
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all areas. At present, many
indivudials
Correct your spelling
individuals
 prefer to
being
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be
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self employed
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self-employed
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instead
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 of working for
a
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an
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 organisation.
This
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 essay will include the possible reasons behind
this
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, and discuss the disadvantages of the same. Initiating with the most significant reason,
people
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values
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value
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 their time, and want to spend more time with their families, and
friend
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friends
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, so that's why they choose to
being
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be
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self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
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.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 type of
work
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 is
a
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apply
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flexible, and
one
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do
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does
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 not have to report to a manager every time
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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. Nowadays,
people
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 want freedom, and
less
Correct article usage
a less
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 stressful life in their
work
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, which
one
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 can not find working with
the
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a
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corporate
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corporation
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.
For instance
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,
according to
Linking Words
one
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 survey, 67% of freelancers, who chose
this
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 type of working method felt less stress in
the
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their
show examples
 daily life.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some disadvantages of
this
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,
one
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 of them is
a
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apply
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less
of
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apply
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exposure, in which
people
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 can not make
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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 with
the
Change the word
their
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 teammates.
For example
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, If they are working for a company, they will connect with
like minded
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like-minded
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indivudials
Correct your spelling
individuals
, and they can gain some important knowledge, which will help them in
the
Change the word
their
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 career.
Morever
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Moreover
,
people
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 working in multinational companies have more
stabilty
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stability
, and they do not have to worry about how to get
work
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, as
this
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 was not
a
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the
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 case in freelancing, in which they have to look for
work
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.
To conclude
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, working for self has many merits and
derits
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demerits
merits
debits
, though it
is
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apply
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totally
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
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 on the mindset of
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
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 person. In
one
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 of them,
people
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 get freedom
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and flexibility, and in the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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, they get stability and networking.
Submitted by vishaljangrala94 on

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Grammar
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structures. Consider revising sentences like 'many individuals prefer to being self employed' to 'many individuals prefer being self-employed.'
Examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples. Instead of just mentioning a survey, provide a bit more context or details that support your points.
Development of Ideas
Ensure a clearer explanation and development of ideas. Some points can be expanded for better understanding, like the impact of self-employment on work-life balance.
Introduction
The essay introduces the topic well and presents a clear thesis statement which outlines the essay's structure.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and provides a balanced view.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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