IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

*Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. *Why might this be the case? *What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#*nowadays #people #work #company #organisation #*why #be #case #*what
In the modern era, technological advancement has made things easier. Because of
this
, there are
a
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apply
show examples
several job
opporutunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 available in
the
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apply
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all areas. At present, many
indivudials
Correct your spelling
individuals
 prefer to
being
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be
show examples
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
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instead
 of working for
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 organisation.
This
 essay will include the possible reasons behind
this
, and discuss the disadvantages of the same. Initiating with the most significant reason,
people
values
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value
show examples
 their time, and want to spend more time with their families, and
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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, so that's why they choose to
being
Change the verb
be
show examples
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
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.
Furthermore
,
this
 type of
work
 is
a
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apply
show examples
flexible, and
one
do
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does
show examples
 not have to report to a manager every time
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
. Nowadays,
people
 want freedom, and
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
 stressful life in their
work
, which
one
 can not find working with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
corporate
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corporation
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.
For instance
,
according to
one
 survey, 67% of freelancers, who chose
this
 type of working method felt less stress in
the
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their
show examples
 daily life.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 some disadvantages of
this
,
one
 of them is
a
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apply
show examples
less
of
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apply
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exposure, in which
people
 can not make
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 with
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 teammates.
For example
, If they are working for a company, they will connect with
like minded
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like-minded
show examples
indivudials
Correct your spelling
individuals
, and they can gain some important knowledge, which will help them in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 career.
Morever
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Moreover
,
people
 working in multinational companies have more
stabilty
Correct your spelling
stability
, and they do not have to worry about how to get
work
, as
this
 was not
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 case in freelancing, in which they have to look for
work
.
To conclude
, working for self has many merits and
derits
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demerits
merits
debits
, though it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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totally
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
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 on the mindset of
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
show examples
 person. In
one
 of them,
people
 get freedom
,
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apply
show examples
 and flexibility, and in the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
, they get stability and networking.
Submitted by vishaljangrala94 on

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Grammar
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structures. Consider revising sentences like 'many individuals prefer to being self employed' to 'many individuals prefer being self-employed.'
Examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples. Instead of just mentioning a survey, provide a bit more context or details that support your points.
Development of Ideas
Ensure a clearer explanation and development of ideas. Some points can be expanded for better understanding, like the impact of self-employment on work-life balance.
Introduction
The essay introduces the topic well and presents a clear thesis statement which outlines the essay's structure.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and provides a balanced view.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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