IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Urban problems Many cities have become less pleasant places to live in recent years. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#cities #places #years
Nodoubt
Correct your spelling
No doubt
, the issues in cities are increasing day by day
due to
 many reasons. These days, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban areas becoming worse places
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
. I will discuss both reasons
as well as
 solutions in my upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, there are
multifactors
Correct your spelling
multifactor
multi factors
 that are included which
Submitted by mbrar9503 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to finish your sentences and develop your ideas fully. Incomplete thoughts can disrupt the flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and concrete details to make your points more persuasive and clear.
coherence cohesion
Conclude each paragraph with a summarizing statement or a sentence that links to the next point for better coherence.
task achievement
Make sure to address both causes and solutions equally. So far, only the introduction is present and only part of the cause was mentioned.
introduction conclusion present
Good initiation of the topic; the introduction clearly states the intent to discuss causes and solutions.
logical structure
The structure shows a clear plan to discuss both causes and solutions, which is a strong start.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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