The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year
The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart presents
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about Australian employees
last
year, breaking down
with
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into
show examples
two different aspects; sex and job type, indicated as percentages.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of workers were primarily men,
whereas
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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of
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apply
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some
works
Replace the word
workers
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such
as professionals and clerical
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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were replaced by women.
However
, it is interesting to note that Australian
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
predominantly worked as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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clerk
Fix the agreement mistake
clerks
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in the previous year.
To begin
with, a closer look
from
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at
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the chart
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
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that men accounted for
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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above 50% on average except
in
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apply
show examples
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
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at 40%. Meanwhile, the figures
of
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for
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females counterpart
Fix the agreement mistake
female counterparts
show examples
were generally lower than 50%, excluding those who worked in professional and clerical at 70% and 98%,respectively.
Additionally
, only female clerks and professional
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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outnumbered
males
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male
show examples
figures and possessed the fewest gap between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
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. In regards to types of work, clerical jobs
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
the highest number among all other jobs. It is noticeable that the white collar groups seem to be preferred by Australian
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
over that
of
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apply
show examples
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
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with a number of greater than 800,000
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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in total
while
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
roughly about 700,000 persons.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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