You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a lette to this friend. In your letter Say why he/she would not enjoy college explain why getting a good job is a good idea for him/her suggest types job that would be suitable for him/her

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Maninder, I hope
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

letter finds you in the best of spirits and radiant health. I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

letter to reply
you
Change preposition
to you

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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on
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a piece of advice you asked for
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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whether you should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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attend
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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college or do a
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I think you should try to look for
an
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun employment in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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employment, because you may not like the busy schedule of institutes. It is ideal for you to find a suitable
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which will help you to earn
your
Change the word
a

The word your may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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living and become financially independent.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, you will learn a few practical skills by working under professionals. Adding more to it,
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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doing
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

job
Add an article
the job
a job

The noun phrase job seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and spending your salary will help to teach you financial management.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will help you to prepare yourself by learning practical skills that are in demand in the labour market. As you did your higher secondary in the commerce stream with
specialisation
Correct article usage
a specialisation

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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in Accountancy you must look for some Accountant
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, because it will become a little
easy
Replace the word
easier

The word easy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for you to cope with a sudden change in work culture. I hope my views are valuable to you and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours lovingly, Jatinder.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking paragraph two to have each idea explained more clearly.
task achievement
The letter provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing all required points.
task achievement
The tone is friendly and supportive, which is suitable for writing to a friend.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are well-structured, contributing positively to the overall flow of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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