IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a lette to this friend. In your letter Say why he/she would not enjoy college explain why getting a good job is a good idea for him/her suggest types job that would be suitable for him/her

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Dear Maninder, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in the best of spirits and radiant health. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to reply
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
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 a piece of advice you asked for
that
Correct word choice
apply
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whether you should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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attend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college or do a
job
Use synonyms
. I think you should try to look for
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
employment, because you may not like the busy schedule of institutes. It is ideal for you to find a suitable
job
Use synonyms
, which will help you to earn
your
Change the word
a
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 living and become financially independent.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you will learn a few practical skills by working under professionals. Adding more to it,
by
Change preposition
apply
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doing
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 and spending your salary will help to teach you financial management.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 will help you to prepare yourself by learning practical skills that are in demand in the labour market. As you did your higher secondary in the commerce stream with
specialisation
Correct article usage
a specialisation
show examples
 in Accountancy you must look for some Accountant
job
Use synonyms
, because it will become a little
easy
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 for you to cope with a sudden change in work culture. I hope my views are valuable to you and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours lovingly, Jatinder.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking paragraph two to have each idea explained more clearly.
task achievement
The letter provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing all required points.
task achievement
The tone is friendly and supportive, which is suitable for writing to a friend.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are well-structured, contributing positively to the overall flow of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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