Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that arts-related
subjects
Use synonyms
are as important as other
school
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
, especially for primary
school
Use synonyms
children. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
statement because
this
Linking Words
can help children
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
discover their
talents
Use synonyms
from an early age and can increase their confidence. One of the reasons I agree that creative
subjects
Use synonyms
have the same importance as other
school
Use synonyms
courses in primary
school
Use synonyms
is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
students
Use synonyms
to find out their potential
talents
Use synonyms
early on.
That is
Linking Words
to say,
Use synonyms
school-age
Correct your spelling
school age
show examples
is the most convenient time for
students
Use synonyms
to learn more about their interests by trying different activities as they are young enough to pursue their hobbies. They will probably not have any other chance later in their lives to discover that because they will be busy with difficult exams when they get older.
For example
Linking Words
, most famous singers were discovered by their music teachers at
school
Use synonyms
from a young age, and they claimed that they could not be that successful if their teachers did not find out their
talents
Use synonyms
when they were young.
Moreover
Linking Words
, music, art and drama
subjects
Use synonyms
help
students
Use synonyms
to boost their confidence.
That is
Linking Words
because creative lessons teach
students
Use synonyms
how to perform in front of lots of people and give them a chance to socialise with other
students
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
can realise their real potential and act more confidently.
For instance
Linking Words
, many psychologists suggest
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
students
Use synonyms
who are struggling with social anxiety
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
take drama lessons as it helps to enhance confidence. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
essay completely agrees that music, art and drama have the same value as other
subjects
Use synonyms
in primary
school
Use synonyms
because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
children to discover their hidden
talents
Use synonyms
early on and
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
their self-confidence.
Submitted by aravindasajith on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument in the introduction to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Work on elaborating ideas with more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use varied sentence structures and linking words to improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and complete response to the prompt, addressing all parts effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively summarize the main points, which helps to maintain cohesion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: