Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Celebrities and well-known
persons
are
gained enormous Verb problem
have
money
and salary
. From some Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
people
point of view, they deserved it because of their talent, having an insecure life Change noun form
people's
due to
paparazzi and fans. But as I see, I tend to agree with this
idea and they don’t deserve this
money
, in this
following essay, I will give you my opinion.
Nowadays some people try to study a lot to become an
Correct article usage
apply
engineer
or successful Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
doctor
or Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
patient
and kind Fix the agreement mistake
patients
nurse
. Fix the agreement mistake
nurses
However
, they gained
much less Wrong verb form
gain
money
than famous persons
which
have talents and even don’t try to improve their Correct pronoun usage
who
talent
. Fix the agreement mistake
talents
For instance
, a graduate engineer in chemical
engineering field will gain Correct article usage
the chemical
approximate
150000 Change the word
approximately
dollars
in a year with out
including taxes and insurance Correct your spelling
without
payment
. But a football player like Bergwin Fix the agreement mistake
payments
that
plays in Arab countries Correct pronoun usage
who
due to
their great offer salary gain
almost 5 million Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
dollars
per year! Or essential workers like nurse
and doctors will gain almost 500000 Fix the agreement mistake
nurses
dollars
after studying near a decade!
On the other hand
, some parts of society believe that a famous person should give a million dollars
profits
per year because of their insecure life, they don’t have a private life and fans want to take Change preposition
in profits
a pictures
with them. and Correct the article-noun agreement
pictures
a picture
this
part of society think
it is a case of supply and demand that made the celebrities Change the verb form
thinks
to
sing a song Fix the infinitive
apply
or
actCorrect word choice
apply
a
movie or play Change preposition
in a
football
match. Because people want them and have paid a Add an article
a football
much
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
money
to see them and get a signature from popular persons
.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
country
and Fix the agreement mistake
countries
society
have Fix the agreement mistake
societies
more
important Add an article
a more
place
to pay their Fix the agreement mistake
places
money
like educated persons
like a surgeon or Replace the word
people
an
great engineer than some Change the article
a
of
Change preposition
apply
miserable
and pathetic Add an article
the miserable
celebreties
.Correct your spelling
celebrities
Submitted by mr.sadeghnezhadengineer on
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task achievement
Try to reinforce your points with more detailed and varied examples.
coherence cohesion
Make sure you clearly link ideas within and between paragraphs using cohesive devices.
general
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and fluency.
task achievement
You have presented both perspectives, which shows a balanced understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, contributing to good structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.