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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.
#information #changes #modes #travel #england
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A glance at the given table depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
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valuable data about modifications in means of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation based on the average distance in
miles
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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travelled by Brits in England from 1985 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
car
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the car
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 was the most popular
modes
Fix the agreement mistake
mode
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 of travel in the period shown.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
taxies
Correct your spelling
taxis
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 had the lowest popularity among the different means of transportation in England.
In addition
Linking Words
, the total rate of
vehicles
Change the noun form
vehicle
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usage
Use synonyms
 for travel witnessed
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
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increased
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increase
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 during
this
Linking Words
 time. As
mentiond
Correct your spelling
mentioned
, cars had the highest rate of
usage
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 a staggering 4806
miles
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 per person yearly in 2000.
However
Linking Words
,
taxies
Correct your spelling
taxis
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 with a mere 13
miles
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 per person in one year had the lowest rate of
usage
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.
Although
Linking Words
local
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the local
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 bus was second in terms of
amount
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the amount
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 of distance 429
miles
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 per individual, trains had
this
Linking Words
 position in 2000. It is noticeable that all
vehicle's
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vehicles
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usage
Use synonyms
 except bicycles, local buses, and walking
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
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 during
this
Linking Words
 period.
Non
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Not
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 only did walking
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
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stable
Correct article usage
a stable
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decreased
Replace the word
decrease
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 between 1985 and 2000 but bicycles
also
Linking Words
 followed a similar trend.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, local buses dropped dramatically in
this
Linking Words
 period and reached to negligible 274
miles
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words miles, usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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