Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign
Frist
of all, there is no doubt that living or working in a foreign Correct your spelling
First
country
is one of all of young
people’s dreams , to sure up Add an article
the young
this
point, you can easy
notice their Change the adjective
easily
behaviors
, education, and the Change the spelling
behaviours
respecting
Replace the word
respect
to
whom working abroad or educated there. But do working or living abroad really Change preposition
for
deserve
Correct pronoun usage
deserve it
?.
There are two faces for Change the punctuation
?
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
country
.
The angle
face and comfortable life, clean street, high brand goods, Change the verb form
angled
incredible
nature whenever you go, you could say easy life Correct word choice
and incredible
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
with
struggling Egyptian Change preposition
to
live
. and living without stress of courseReplace the word
life
worse
, farther Correct word choice
apply
more
working there will be with Correct your spelling
worse
the
foreign currency which has a huge difference Correct article usage
apply
comparing
with Egyptian currency, and Wrong verb form
compared
that
is mean
you will gain approximately five or six times your Egyptian salary.
Wrong verb form
means
On the other hand
, the foreign country
not
Add a missing verb
is not
the
heaven Correct article usage
apply
by
the way, it has some obstacles Add the comma(s)
, by
could
keep you rethinking or at least Correct pronoun usage
that could
think
twice before taking Wrong verb form
thinking
you
decision, you could call it (the savage face) , because you will not be welcomed ,or they will leave their position for you once you arrive, they only leave to you the dirty work , so if you have a good position in Egypt please don’t expect to have the same one Correct pronoun usage
your
their
, because the foreign Replace the word
there
country
doesn’t admit with our certifies, So, you will earn money but after awhile you will loss your dignity ,in
addition
you will face racism because you are stranger ,came to their Add a comma
addition,
country
with your stupid traditions to manipulate their country
(as they think), ultimately you will be not welcomed but worry and lonely.
-Finally
, I did not mean to send a negative feeling towards travelling , I just meant to reschedule your plan like having the same education level, so you will avoid to accept
the Change the verb form
accepting
low class
working ,Add a hyphen
low-class
also
Travel
with your family to get more strength, in Wrong verb form
Travelling
this
time only the travelling or working abroad will be as a new step for you.Submitted by Mido on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of the essay. Start with a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss.
Task Response
Provide more clear and comprehensive ideas. Some ideas are mentioned but not fully developed, which can make the essay seem scattered.
Task Achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points more effectively. This can help in making your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
Task Achievement
You have used some good vocabulary and expressions that add value to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the points well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.