Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workspace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

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Some individuals think that keeping home and workplace tidy is an important thing,
while
some others believe it does not matter to tidy everything up. In my opinion, trying to make stuff around a person clean and organised is
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
, as it could save
time
and affect
on
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apply
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an individual's success. Some people believe that it is not necessary to keep everything around tidy
,
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apply
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because doing
such
work
could cost a lot of
time
. Everyone's
time
is limited. If we spend too much
time
at
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on
show examples
housework, we will have less
time
to
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in
show examples
the field that we should focus on.
Additionally
, some successful men
also
do not pay much attention to
tidy
Wrong verb form
tidying
show examples
their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
and workspace.
For example
, most
of
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apply
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kings or presidents have their own services team to complete clean
work
for them rather than by themselves, which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
them to save more
time
to deal with other more important
work
.
However
, I disagree
the
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with the
show examples
above views. First of all,
to tidy
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tidying
show examples
everything up around someone him/herself and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
all things in
correct
Add an article
the correct
show examples
place is not a big project for anyone, especially when we keep it as a habit. As long as
complete
Correct pronoun usage
we complete
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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work
, we bring the things back,
then
it will not take too long
time
or choose a specific
time
to clean the room.
In contrast
, keeping
everying
Correct your spelling
everything
organised can save a lot of
time
for us to find a thing when we need it.
Moreover
, many successful men indeed do not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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do cleaning
work
by themselves, but
this
does not mean that they do not think it is not important to keep everything around them to be tidy and organised.
That is
why they would like to hire someone else to help them to do
such
work
. To summarise, it is really important to keep
home
Correct pronoun usage
your home
show examples
and workspace tidy and organised, as it could save people's
time
and influence
on
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apply
show examples
their success.
Submitted by 2587729786 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity and make your arguments more compelling, ensure that each paragraph follows a logical structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by evidence or examples to support your point, and conclude with a statement that ties it back to the main argument.
task achievement
Try to use more specific and relevant examples that directly illustrate your points. This will make your essay more engaging and convincing. Instead of general examples like 'kings or presidents,' consider real-life figures or common situations that readers can easily relate to.
task achievement
You comprehensively addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, which helps to give the essay a cohesive structure.
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