IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workspace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

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Some individuals think that keeping home and workplace tidy is an important thing,
while
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 some others believe it does not matter to tidy everything up. In my opinion, trying to make stuff around a person clean and organised is
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
, as it could save
time
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 and affect
on
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apply
show examples
an individual's success. Some people believe that it is not necessary to keep everything around tidy
,
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apply
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 because doing
such
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work
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 could cost a lot of
time
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. Everyone's
time
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 is limited. If we spend too much
time
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at
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on
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 housework, we will have less
time
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to
Change preposition
in
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 the field that we should focus on.
Additionally
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, some successful men
also
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 do not pay much attention to
tidy
Wrong verb form
tidying
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 their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 and workspace.
For example
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, most
of
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apply
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kings or presidents have their own services team to complete clean
work
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 for them rather than by themselves, which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 them to save more
time
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 to deal with other more important
work
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.
However
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, I disagree
the
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with the
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 above views. First of all,
to tidy
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tidying
show examples
 everything up around someone him/herself and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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 all things in
correct
Add an article
the correct
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 place is not a big project for anyone, especially when we keep it as a habit. As long as
complete
Correct pronoun usage
we complete
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a
Correct article usage
the
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work
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, we bring the things back,
then
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 it will not take too long
time
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 or choose a specific
time
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 to clean the room.
In contrast
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, keeping
everying
Correct your spelling
everything
 organised can save a lot of
time
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 for us to find a thing when we need it.
Moreover
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, many successful men indeed do not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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do cleaning
work
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 by themselves, but
this
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 does not mean that they do not think it is not important to keep everything around them to be tidy and organised.
That is
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 why they would like to hire someone else to help them to do
such
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work
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. To summarise, it is really important to keep
home
Correct pronoun usage
your home
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 and workspace tidy and organised, as it could save people's
time
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 and influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their success.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity and make your arguments more compelling, ensure that each paragraph follows a logical structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by evidence or examples to support your point, and conclude with a statement that ties it back to the main argument.
task achievement
Try to use more specific and relevant examples that directly illustrate your points. This will make your essay more engaging and convincing. Instead of general examples like 'kings or presidents,' consider real-life figures or common situations that readers can easily relate to.
task achievement
You comprehensively addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, which helps to give the essay a cohesive structure.
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