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Band 5

Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress related illnesses are increasing around the world. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?

#life #parent’s #generation #stress #illnesses #world
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Nowadays,
stress
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 levels have increased many folds as compared to the past.
This
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 trend leads to many problems like anxiety and depression.
This
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 essay will try to delve into the problems related to
stress
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 and a few possible remedies
to
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for
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 it.
To begin
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 with, a few causes of stressful life are growing competition among people. In fact, in order to, achieve success and to meet goals set under peer pressure and society, individuals are making their lives more stressful.
Additionally
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, a few outcomes of
stress
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 are issues like Anxiety, Depression , mood swings etc. As a matter of fact, human brains are
continusely
Correct your spelling
continuously
continually
 under
stress
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 and it affects
the
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apply
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Brain health in a negative way that likely will have detrimental outcomes in future. To illustrate,
according to
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 a survey report, in
passed
Verb problem
the past
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 few years,
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stress related
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stress-related
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 ailments have increased up to 34 per cent.
Hence
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,
stressful
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the stressful
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 environment around people is affecting their mental health, which is a pressing issue in the modern era. In order to, tackle
this
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 issue, a few things could be done.
Firstly
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, meditation can help to control pressure situations by controlling emotions that often
affects
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affect
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thought
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the thought
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 process of an individual.
Secondly
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, performing sports activities could
also
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 be beneficial because indulgence
into
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in
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the
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apply
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physical activities in today's stressful atmosphere does not allow
human
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the human
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 mind to think of negative experiences.
To sum up
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, growing competition among us is the primary cause that leads to neurological implications like Anxiety, Depression etc. and activities like playing outdoor games and meditation could help to overcome
stress
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.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea, as this helps to enhance clarity and readability. For example, the discussion on the causes and outcomes of stress could be divided into separate paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
language
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and punctuation. Proofreading your essay can help catch these minor mistakes and improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear response, identifying causes of stress and suggesting remedies.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and frame the essay effectively.
content
The essay touches on relevant issues such as competition and mental health, which are current and significant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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