Some people believe that the only important thing in life is his or her work. Without a successful career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

day and age,

people

Use synonyms

have different views about occupation roles in

life

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

there are some good arguments in favour of the view that jobs play the most vital role in human lives, and without

them

Add a comma

them,

show examples

life

Use synonyms

is considered to be meaningless, I personally disagree with

this

Linking Words

notion. On the one hand, there are two primary reasons why

people

Use synonyms

believe work is the most important thing to

people

Use synonyms

. The first reason is that the world has developed significantly and money plays a vital role in humanity, becoming a currency in order to trade goods in modern

life

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

the only way to earn money is to get a job, which helps the individuals to become independent.

Secondly

Linking Words

, a job

serve

Change the verb form

serves

show examples

as a means for individuals to foster their competitive minds, considered to be important to

people

Use synonyms

's personalities.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the past, there

always

Add a missing verb

have always

show examples

been ranks in organizations to help employees grinding to their dream income.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, apart from the expressed above, I maintain that not having a successful career individual

life

Use synonyms

still can be valuable.

Firstly

Linking Words

life

Use synonyms

can be enjoyed in several different ways. With or without money,

people

Use synonyms

still can choose the lifestyle that they want and

this

Linking Words

allows them to be happy in their own ways,

not

Correct word choice

and not

show examples

be burdened by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial problems.

Secondly

Linking Words

, trying to get a successful career often makes

people

Use synonyms

become

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

, which might be detrimental to their social

life

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, many rich

people

Use synonyms

believe that they have lost all their best friends

due to

Linking Words

their wealth, all they get nowadays are considered to be friends with benefits. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

there are certain reasons why

people

Use synonyms

believe occupation plays the most important role in human

life

Use synonyms

, it seems to me that

people

Use synonyms

still can enjoy their

life

Use synonyms

even though they are unemployed or have a successful career.

lahuyquan123Thu Sep 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure by ensuring clear connections between the points. For instance, using transition words can make the text flow better and ensure ideas are logically connected.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to make arguments more convincing. Real-life scenarios or case studies can make the points stronger and more relatable.

task achievement

The essay introduces and concludes the topic effectively, addressing the question directly. This shows a clear understanding of the task.

task achievement

The main points are generally clear and well-explained, indicating a comprehensive grasp of the subject matter.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a cohesive structure, with each paragraph centered around a main idea. This organization aids in the readability and flow of the text.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Work-life balance
Emotional support
Companionship
Mental well-being
Passions
Personal development
Lifelong learning
Self-improvement
Physical health
Mental health
Altruism
Charitable activities
Professional achievements
Burnout
Spiritual growth
Cultural experiences
Legacy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some parents nowadays put more pressure on their children to succeed. Why? Negative or positive?
In the modern era, some parents enforce greater pressure on their children in order to succeed. There are some significant causes for this trend, most of which, in my assessment, have been positive.
7.5
band
In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people suggest that in some countries more and more young individuals are choosing to enrol in hands-on experience instead of attending university. I believe that despite there are many disadvantages such as low salary or low social status, the advantages can override them.
6
band
Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet, but the constant availability of any information worsens people’s memory and critical thinking skills. Do you agree or disagree?
Opinion is divided when it comes to the negative influences that endemic access to the internet has inflicted on people's memory and critical thinking. From my standpoint, I partly disagree with this statement and this essay will give further information.
8
band
Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is an ongoing debate about whether schools should focus primarily on scholarly syllabi or whether practical subjects, such as sports and art, are equally essential. While I acknowledge that academic subjects play a crucial role in shaping future careers, I believe hands-on experiences are more important for teenagers to lead a fulfilling life.
8
band
The increasing prevalence of convenience food will lead to traditional methods of cooking disappearing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that conventional modes of food preparation will disappear with the rise of pre-prepared meal boxes. This essay completely disagrees with the statement because it is costly to keep consuming this kind of eatables and the fact that they are extremely unhealthy.

Some people believe that the only important thing in life is his or her work. Without a successful career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents nowadays put more pressure on their children to succeed. Why? Negative or positive?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet, but the constant availability of any information worsens people’s memory and critical thinking skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The increasing prevalence of convenience food will lead to traditional methods of cooking disappearing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?