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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart illustrates distances traveled per person per week (in kilometers) in terms of 5 types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000.

The chart illustrates distances traveled per person per week (in kilometers) in terms of 5 types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000.
#distances #person #week #kilometers #terms #transport #uk
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The bar chart illustrates in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 how long
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 per person in every week in five different
mode
Change to a plural noun
modes
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 of transport namely bicycle,motorbike,air,bus and rail during the period between 1990 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly evident that
distance
Use synonyms
 of slightly increased over the decade. Bus and train were the popular way of transport in the given period,
whereas
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three
mode
Fix the agreement mistake
modes
show examples
transport
Change preposition
of transport
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 contributed
for
Change preposition
to
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 minor
Use synonyms
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
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. In 1990, most people commuted via the bus about 40km
distance
Use synonyms
, that amount was claimed
slighlty
Correct your spelling
slightly
 just above 40
km
Use synonyms
 in the next following decade. Rain travellers
also
Linking Words
 show the same manner , in 1990 and 2000 there was
the
Correct article usage
a
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 small amount of change that
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
occurs
.
Other mode
Change the wording
Another mode
Other modes
show examples
 of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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, which
used
Add a missing verb
are used
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 for smaller
Use synonyms
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
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 of travel accounted
less
Change preposition
for less
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 than 2km over the two
decade
Change to a plural noun
decades
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. In total the highest travel
distance
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 was registered in 2000,
amounted
Wrong verb form
amounting
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for
Change preposition
to
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 approximately 110km,
while
Linking Words
 in 1990,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 made up 100km.
Submitted by jivenica1998 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words distance, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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