IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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The Importance of Teaching
Right
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 and Wrong to
Children
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 It is important for
children
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 to learn the difference between
right
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 and wrong, and many believe that punishments help teach
this
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. I agree that
punishment
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 can play a role, but it should be used carefully and in combination with positive rewards to encourage good
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behavior
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behaviour
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 and understanding.
Children
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 start to learn about rules and
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 early on, and guiding them helps shape their understanding of what is acceptable.
Punishment
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 can be an effective way to stop bad
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behavior
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behaviour
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, but too much or harsh
punishment
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 can cause fear, resentment, and emotional harm. Punishments should be fair and match the
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behavior
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behaviour
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,
such
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 as giving a time-out or taking away a privilege, rather than physical
punishment
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, which can harm a child's body or mental health. Using positive rewards is just as important as
punishment
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. Praising and rewarding good
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behavior
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behaviour
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 encourages
children
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 to repeat it and helps them learn in a more positive and supportive way.
For example
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, praising a child for sharing toys with others can encourage them to continue sharing and develop empathy. Positive reinforcement not only helps build a child’s confidence but
also
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 fosters a better understanding of
right
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 and wrong through encouragement rather than fear. In conclusion,
punishment
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 should be balanced with positive rewards to create a supportive environment where
children
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 can effectively learn the difference between
right
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 and wrong. By combining both methods,
children
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 are more likely to understand the consequences of their actions and make better choices in the future.

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task achievement
Ensure to directly address all parts of the task prompt explicitly. For instance, make sure to note instances where different types of punishment (e.g., time-outs) are specifically linked to improvements in behavior.
task achievement
Include more varied examples and evidence. Although you explained the use of rewards and punishments well, providing additional examples or studies could strongly clarify your position and reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow of ideas is consistent and well-organized, guiding the reader from one point to the next smoothly, with clear integration of ideas supporting your position.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a strong introduction and conclusion which frame your argument effectively, providing clarity and reinforcement of your stance.
task achievement
You address the central question and provide a balanced perspective on how punishment and positive reinforcement work in teaching right from wrong.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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