Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
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Children
are advised to acknowledge the difference between the
right and wrong at a young age. Correct article usage
apply
This
is essential as these distinctions play a major role in their character when they grow up. I believe that the understanding of these distinctions are
shaped since young. Wrong verb form
has been
Children
who are not disciplined for their wrongs are most likely to repeat it again in the future and will grow up with these habits. Unfortunately, not all young children
will listen to what is being said by adults. This
leads to the opinion where
Correct word choice
that
punishment
is necessary so that children
can learn and differentiate the right and wrong. However
, punishment
needs to be restricted and limited so it would not crossed
the line. Slapping, shouting, and punishments which Change the verb form
cross
harms
Change the verb form
harm
children
's body
should be banned as Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
it
can cause trauma Correct pronoun usage
they
for
them. Change preposition
to
Instead
, parents and teachers are advised to give a light punishment
which are
harmless. Change the verb form
is
For example
, in schools, teachers can punish students by standing at the back of the class. This
will remind students to not repeat their actions and it also
would not cause any harm to them. Moreover
, they can still participate in classes and listen to the teacher's instructions while
doing their punishment
. Meanwhile, at home, parents can punish their children
by limiting their access to gadgets. I believe by doing this
, children
will be more obedient as they are scared their parents might take their gadgets in the future. This
can also
lower their screentime
and encourage family bonding. In conclusion, light and harmless Correct your spelling
screen time
punishment
is necessary under the circumstances to remind and teach children
about the
right and Correct article usage
apply
wrongs
.Fix the agreement mistake
wrong
Submitted by riani.the2 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical flow, consider using more connective words or phrases to link your ideas, such as 'additionally', 'however', or 'on the other hand'.
task achievement
While the examples provided are relevant, consider further elaboration on how the limitations on gadget use specifically contribute to learning right from wrong.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance is well articulated, which helps to set the tone for the rest of the essay.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas and reinforces your point of view.
task achievement
Use of relevant specific examples, like standing at the back of the class and limiting gadget access, effectively illustrate your main points.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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