The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
The line graph below illustrates information on the amounts of
participants
in activities
such
as film club, martial arts, amateur dramatics,
table
tennis
, and musical performances at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia in a period range 2000 and 2020. I
Overall
, all figures increased except amateur dramatics. The most noticeable performance was done by
participants
in
table
tennis
. Film club decreased and increased until 2010 with the
number
of
participants
just above 65 and 70, respectively.
Furthermore
,
this
index was a leader every year.
Table
tennis
had the lowest
number
of
participants
, approximately 18.
However
,
this
figure rose dramatically and had 50
participants
at the end
and was the second leader
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a lot of people lost interest in amateur dramatics and had around 9 members in 2020. Musical interest appeared in 2005 and had approximately the same
number
of members who played
table
tennis
in 2000.
Finally
, the
last
activity martial arts fluctuated between 30 and 37 members,
However
, the
number
of
participants
in
this
activity was the same in 2000 and 2020.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, table, tennis, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • social centre
  • comparison
  • trends
  • consistently popular
  • gained popularity
  • lost popularity
  • community interest
  • availability of facilities
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • external events
  • economic downturns
  • health crises
  • demographic changes
  • aging population
  • marketing
  • community outreach programs
  • participation rates
  • Melbourne
What to do next:
Look at other essays: