Modern technology is used in many workplaces today. How do you think technology changed the ways people work? Do you think there are any disadvantages of relying on technology at work?

I am sure that
last
Correct word choice
the latest
show examples
scientific achievements
need
Wrong verb form
are needed
show examples
for all professional spheres
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our days. I like it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because we can see stability progress.
Consequently
, today we are participating in many
process
Change to a plural noun
processes
show examples
, learning new professions and seeing
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world. Technology changed all
history
Change preposition
of history
show examples
, and now
speed
Add an article
the speed
show examples
of development is maximum. Yesterday workers used only
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
muscles and
hands
Change the noun form
hand
show examples
tools,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
today one human can change
hundreds
Add the preposition
hundreds of
show examples
colleagues only with one machine. In other
Fix the agreement mistake
spheres
show examples
sphere
Add a comma
sphere,
show examples
dangerous
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
was directed to robots. For free persons
was created
Wrong verb form
,
show examples
new professions in IT, engineering, sport, medicine and
other specialty
Change the wording
another specialty
other specialties
show examples
.
In other words
, every new good idea did thousands working places, made safety conditions and took
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
health for society.
For example
,
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
in
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
office can check
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
hundreds
Add the preposition
hundreds of
show examples
bridges in
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
,
analyze
Correct word choice
and analyze
show examples
sensors and cameras for
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
a lot of useless
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
were deleted.
On
Change the preposition
In
show examples
my opinion, using achievements
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
show examples
have
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
for people and companies.
At
Change preposition
For
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
time we
see
Wrong verb form
saw
show examples
200 people
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
fired. But for
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
other 50
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
can make all work with
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
machine or program.
Company
Add an article
The company
show examples
saves money and
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
possibility
Fix the agreement mistake
possibilities
show examples
. Dismissed employer had temporary
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
and reason for studying and moving. 20 years ago with
transporter
Correct article usage
a transporter
show examples
worked hundreds person in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every fabric and factory. They made only one step.
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
can make
error
Fix the agreement mistake
errors
show examples
, get tired,
need
Correct word choice
and need
show examples
sleep and
break
Correct article usage
a break
show examples
for dinner. Now robots working with big speed without problem.
Overall
, it exchange
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
for production
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower.
As a result
, progress in technology
need
Wrong verb form
is needed
show examples
for all
direction
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
show examples
in our world from unskilled
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
to big narrow professionals.
On nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
show examples
we seeing
revolution
Correct article usage
a revolution
show examples
and nobody
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
continues
Correct subject-verb agreement
continue
show examples
.
Submitted by acaitaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay needs a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. Start by briefly stating your main points in the introduction and summarizing them in the conclusion.
logical structure
Try to develop your ideas in a more organized way. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea or argument that is clearly stated at the beginning of the paragraph.
supported main points
Although you provide relevant examples, they often lack detail and clarity. Try to elaborate on them more to make your points stronger.
complete response
Ensure that you clearly address both parts of the question. Provide a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of relying on technology at work.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are interesting, but they need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and support each point with logical reasoning.
relevant specific examples
You have included specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Remote work
  • Cloud computing
  • Video conferencing
  • Instant messaging
  • Collaborative platforms
  • Access to information
  • Internet resources
  • Decision-making
  • Skill development
  • Job displacement
  • AI (Artificial Intelligence)
  • Work-life balance
  • Data security
  • Hacking
  • Data breaches
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Technical glitches
  • Downtime
  • Productivity losses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: