More and more people today are using computers and electronic devices to access information. Therefore there is no need to print books, magazines and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, it is becoming

increasely

Correct your spelling

increasingly

common for

people

Use synonyms

to use

computers

Use synonyms

and electronic

devices

Use synonyms

to search some

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

think that there is no need to have printed

media

Use synonyms

, I,

however

Linking Words

strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea.

Firstly

Linking Words

computers

Use synonyms

and other electronic

devices

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could expose blue light radiation which may reduce user's

eye

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health.

Change preposition

People

show examples

people

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, especially employees who spend their

entirely

Change the word

entire

show examples

working

time

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in front of the

computers

Use synonyms

will affected

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

, resulting in the potential use of

Use synonyms

eye glasses

Correct your spelling

eyeglasses

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, employers should give

eye

Use synonyms

treatment complimentary for their workers and provide printed sources for them to offer flexible choices

while

Linking Words

working.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, reading and learning from

handed book

Correct your spelling

handbooks

show examples

will reduce

people

Use synonyms

's screen

time

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and encourage them to have better eyesight.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there are several apps inside electronic

devices

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such

Linking Words

as social

media

Use synonyms

TikTok and online games which could make

people

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have

least

Correct article usage

the least

show examples

attention span. With

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

technology and

Add an article

the algorithm

show examples

algorithm

Fix the agreement mistake

algorithms

show examples

built for their users to always

hooked

Add a missing verb

be hooked

show examples

into their apps, it will make their users

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

spend more and more hours

into

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

and they not

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

productive at all.

As a result

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this

Linking Words

might reduce their ability and cognitive system to learn something scientific or just

comprehently

Correct your spelling

comprehend

comprehensibly

competently

read something in

longer

Add an article

a longer

show examples

time

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, since

they

Add a verb

they are

they were

show examples

addicted to electronic

devices

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Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should

resctricted

Correct your spelling

restrict

restricted

their reliance

Change preposition

show examples

computers

Use synonyms

and try to spend their

time

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to read

Change the verb form

reading

show examples

printed

novel

Fix the agreement mistake

novels

show examples

newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

show examples

so they may have longer focus and not

easily

Add a missing verb

be easily

show examples

distracted. In conclusion,

while

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there is a significant trend for

people

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to use their electronic

devices

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to help

their

Change preposition

with their

show examples

daily tasks, I believe that

people

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still need the

existance

Correct your spelling

existence

of printed

media

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due to

Linking Words

the various benefits. Reading printed

media

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can reduce their addiction to

computers

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and a better

opt

Replace the word

option

show examples

to maintain their

eye

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health from blue light radiation.

ru.kabiru.biruFri Sep 13 2024

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grammar

Make sure to take some time to proofread your work for small grammatical errors and language inaccuracies. This can make your ideas appear more polished and professional.

example

Try to deepen your analysis by including specific examples or data to give more weight to your points. This can be particularly powerful in persuading your reader of your argument.

paragraph structure

Make sure each paragraph clearly relates to your main thesis, and consider developing your main points further to provide more detailed and comprehensive arguments.

structure

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.

content

You have addressed two main points in support of your argument, providing a balanced perspective.

relevance

The relevance of your points to the topic statement is evident throughout your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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More and more people today are using computers and electronic devices to access information. Therefore there is no need to print books, magazines and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that children should be allowed to make their own choices on everyday matters, such as food, clothes, and entertainment. Others believe that if children are given too much freedom, they will become selfish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly said that today's children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?