Task 2. Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Nowadays the rate of
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
rime soar
day by day. Many think that it is caused by people who are bad in nature. Replace the word
crimes is soaring
Whereas
, others believe that poverty issess
is Correct your spelling
assess
issues
main
cause of committing Add an article
the main
crime
. In Add an article
a crime
the crime
this
essay, both views will be discussed in the following paragraphs . However
, I am solidaritly
with the letter view.
People who believe Correct your spelling
solidarity
letter
viewCorrect article usage
the letter
,
Remove the comma
apply
came
with arguments Wrong verb form
come
like
most Change preposition
that
of
Change preposition
apply
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
situated
because of poverty issues. Verb problem
occur
While
someone intruble
with lack of money they Correct your spelling
in trouble
are try
to searching Change the verb form
are trying
most
easiest and fastest way of earning it. Change the adjective
apply
As a result
, the fastest and easiest way provide
them Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
into
Change preposition
with
dark
way that calls Add an article
the dark
a dark
crime
. Forexsample
, thirty year Correct your spelling
For example
old
man who lost his job and who Correct word choice
young
should
to feed his family had struggled with Verb problem
had
theese
troubles at that time he Correct your spelling
these
realize
that he never Wrong verb form
realised
can
find a loyal job for him it result he trying to sell nonallowed stuff which is drugs and stolen cars or even he can stole cars by himself. Verb problem
apply
Thus
, it ends with putting this
man under arrest. As well as
, with no doubt It leads him into prison.
In contrast
, a section of society claims to be more agressive
in nature. It could happen, Correct your spelling
aggressive
due to
religios
discrimination and rustle discrimination . Correct your spelling
religious
Forexsample
, In America black community of Correct your spelling
For example
society
Add a verb
society is
society was
more keen
to commit Replace the words
keener
Add an article
a crime
the crime
crime
and they are blamed by white society. In my opinion, if Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
well
Add a missing verb
are well
upbringed
by their parents and the condition where they Correct your spelling
upbringing
are grow
up is well they are do not try to commit a Change the verb form
are growing
are grown
crime
.
In Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
, Correct your spelling
conclusion
generally
we can not Add a comma
generally,
to
solve Change the verb form
apply
this
problem
fully. Because,
most Remove the comma
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
crime
situated
Add a missing verb
is situated
due to
the needs of people.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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coherence
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the introduction needs to clearly state the central argument without grammatical errors for better clarity. A more concise thesis statement would be beneficial.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay are somewhat clear, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that make it hard to follow at times. Proofreading for grammar and readability would significantly improve your writing.
task achievement
Support your main points with more precise and specific examples. For instance, you can use statistics or real-life incidents to bolster your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling.
coherence
Try to ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one, which makes your essay more cohesive. Use appropriate transition phrases to link your ideas together.
task achievement
You have addressed both views of the topic, showing an understanding of the different perspectives.
coherence
There is a clear attempt to conclude your essay, and you have included your opinion, which is crucial in IELTS Task 2 essays.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.