As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problems?

Due to
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
of numbers in tourism, the need for
flights
has increased.
This
essay will discuss the
problems
associated with
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
of flight
due to
more leisure travel and will provide some solutions to those
problems
. The main two
problems
are higher
carbon
and other toxins
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
and
health
problems
in
people
living near the
airports
.
Firstly
, more
flights
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
a larger
carbon
footprint, which
causes
global warming,
increases
Correct word choice
and increases
show examples
the growth of greenhouse
gases emission
Fix the agreement mistake
gas emissions
show examples
.
For example
, in the
last
30 years the demand for
flights
quadrupled and following that
carbon
emissions doubled, causing climate warming, which
causes
a risk
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
animal species, makes icebergs
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
melt and is a risk to
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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earth
Change noun form
earth's
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ecosystems.
Secondly
, other toxins that are released during
take off
Add a hyphen
take-off
show examples
and landing are a risk to local
people
's
health
.
For instance
,
people
who live near
airports
are twice as likely to have respiratory
problems
compared to
people
who live
further
away.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
living near an airport
causes
serious
health
problems
and funds that could have been saved
otherwise
have to go into helping those
people
. To mitigate
carbon
emissions, the most effective measure is lowering the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of travellers,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can be done with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
legislation that bans short
flights
when the distance is easily accessible in zero or
lower emission
Add a hyphen
lower-emission
show examples
transport.
For example
, in
France
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France,
show examples
there is a ban on domestic
flights
if they can be made by train in under 5 hours.
Solution
Add an article
The solution
A solution
show examples
to lowering
health
problems
in
people
living near the airport is building
airports
further
away from
people
’s houses. When the distance is bigger it is scientifically proven that there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
health
problems
associated with aviation pollution.
As a result
, banning shorter
flights
and building
airports
further
away from cities will make flying a less desirable option and will result in less flight and less pollution that affect global ecosystems and
people
. In conclusion, a higher number of tourism
flights
causes
toxic gas emissions and risks
local
Change preposition
to local
show examples
health
. To solve these
problems
, the government should implement some compulsory legislation that lowers flight numbers and protects
people
’s
health
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
the air tourism number has to decrease and the government should be heavily involved.
Submitted by oimigle on

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task achievement
Ensure to maintain a balanced coverage of both problems and solutions within the essay.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points, particularly for proposed solutions.
coherence cohesion
Use more variety in linking phrases and cohesive devices to enhance flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and avoid repetition of certain words or phrases to improve readability.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response by addressing both problems and solutions related to increased tourism flights.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a strong framework for the essay.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported with some relevant examples, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

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