IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. discuss both of views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
Although
, there are some kind of university students who want to learn about various
subjects
 in
additionally
 their main
subjects
, other
people
 think, that they have to give their
time
 and attention to studying for their certificates. In my opinion,
people
 must pay attention to their qualification and their future jobs. Actually, university students could learn other
subjects
as well as
 the main subject if they want to learn it. The reason is that it is impossible to predict their future achievements and if they can't find a place in their main field, they have extra knowledge to find a different
job
. It's a fact because it is a story from real life. My uncle wasted his
time
 learning about their main
subjects
 which were specialized for doctors
while
 nowadays he works as a taxi driver not a doctor
due to
 the lack of skills and knowledge from other sites. It's important to give all
time
 and attention to studying only the principal subject. If students let themselves learn little from all
subjects
, they will not be professionals in their future jobs and
also
 they could lose their jobs. As a fact, these days lots of companies need employees with
job
 experience and if the employee hasn't got
job
 experience, the employer gives him a period of
time
 to check his specific skills for
this
 place.
For example
, in the year 2016, my brother tried to work at Google because he was studying as a programmer but in the
job
 interview, they rejected him because of his lack of knowledge. So
firstly
,
people
 have to learn one subject fully. In conclusion,
people
 have to be good at their main
subjects
 before learning different
subjects
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to improve the clarity of your main points. Make sure each paragraph has one clear idea that supports your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Increase the use of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument, which addresses the task response requirement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your viewpoint.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!