Is it important for people to take more risks in their professional career and their personal lifes. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Is it important for people to take more
risks
in their professional career
and their personal Fix the agreement mistake
careers
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
.
What Change the punctuation
?
is
the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
advantage
and Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
disadvantage
of taking more and just staying Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
nicely
and doing nothing for their Change the word
nice
future
in the
professional Change the word
their
career
and their own Fix the agreement mistake
careers
life
.
Advantage, when we were young our parents always said to study hard about Change the punctuation
?
yourself
and Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
future
self
. What kind of study and subject that you must learn for your Fix the agreement mistake
selves
future
career
.
And what you should prepare for your Change the punctuation
?
future
. If you study more you know more about yourself and know what your career
will be in the future
.
Example
, if you want to become a chef, learn how to cook, how to manage the restaurant, and how to maintain the taste of the food. If you want to become a businessman, learn economy, accounting, business planning, financial management, and networking. But the key to Change preposition
For example
success
is that you must work hard and if you fail, try again.
Disadvantages of not taking risks
for your future
career
and your own self. Missed opportunities: Avoiding risks
often means staying within your comfort zone, by missing out on new opportunities whether it’s a new job and
learning a new skill. lower potential for Correct word choice
or
success
: success
often requires taking calculated risks
, by playing it safe, you may limit yourself for
Change preposition
to
achieve
significant Change the verb form
achieving
success
in your career
life
.
In conclusion, if you take more risks
in your life
and your career
life
. You could be more successful in your life
. And know how to solve problems in your business.Submitted by riani.the2 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is a positive aspect of your writing. However, the logical structure of your essay could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your main points are present, but they need more development and support. Make sure to elaborate on each point with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
There were some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that made certain parts of the essay less clear. Review your writing to ensure it is free of errors and flows naturally.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, such as discussing the preparation needed to become a chef or a businessman. These examples help illustrate your points and make your argument more compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.