Is it important for people to take more risks in their professional career and their personal lifes. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #career #lifes

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Is it important for people to take more

risks

in their professional

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and their personal

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

Change the punctuation

show examples

What

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

and

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

of taking more and just staying

nicely

Change the word

nice

show examples

and doing nothing for their

future

the

Change the word

their

show examples

professional

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and their own

life

Change the punctuation

show examples

Advantage, when we were young our parents always said to study hard about

yourself

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

and

your

Correct pronoun usage

our

show examples

future

self

Fix the agreement mistake

selves

show examples

. What kind of study and subject that you must learn for your

future

career

Change the punctuation

show examples

And what you should prepare for your

future

. If you study more you know more about yourself and know what your

career

will be in the

future

Example

Change preposition

For example

show examples

, if you want to become a chef, learn how to cook, how to manage the restaurant, and how to maintain the taste of the food. If you want to become a businessman, learn economy, accounting, business planning, financial management, and networking. But the key to

success

is that you must work hard and if you fail, try again. Disadvantages of not taking

risks

for your

future

career

and your own self. Missed opportunities: Avoiding

risks

often means staying within your comfort zone, by missing out on new opportunities whether it’s a new job

and

Correct word choice

show examples

learning a new skill. lower potential for

success

often requires taking calculated

risks

, by playing it safe, you may limit yourself

for

Change preposition

show examples

achieve

Change the verb form

achieving

show examples

significant

success

in your

career

life

. In conclusion, if you take more

risks

in your

life

and your

career

life

. You could be more successful in your

life

. And know how to solve problems in your business.

Submitted by riani.the2 on Fri Sep 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is a positive aspect of your writing. However, the logical structure of your essay could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear flow throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your main points are present, but they need more development and support. Make sure to elaborate on each point with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

There were some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that made certain parts of the essay less clear. Review your writing to ensure it is free of errors and flows naturally.

task achievement

You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

task achievement

Your essay includes relevant examples, such as discussing the preparation needed to become a chef or a businessman. These examples help illustrate your points and make your argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

0
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

259 words

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Is it important for people to take more risks in their professional career and their personal lifes. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do the advantages of this for their study outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that consumerism can boost the economy and create business and jobs. Others consider that society becomes a 'throw-away society' producing unnecessary waste. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

Crime rates in most countries is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. What do you think? What can be done to reduce crime rate?